NEW字幕组译制
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《Mr. Sandman》——The Chordettes, The Archie Bleyer Orchestra
翻译 啾迪
*造梦先生* *Mr. Sandman...*
我们有孩子的话 You know, when we have kids,
就不能夜不归宿了 we're gonna have to go home at night.
翻译 Katerina
什么 谁规定的 What? Who says?
《模范父母手册》 The We Are Not Shitty Parents Handbook.
翻译 Adlon
那共产破书 That commie rag.
翻译 柳小兔
-咱们小孩会很酷的 -混酒吧 - Our kids are gonna be cool kids. - Club kids.
-阳光会刺痛他们眼睛 -小吸血鬼 - Daylight will hurt their eyes. - Vampire kids.
翻译 耳屎可以吃
著名萨克斯演奏家
他们会一嘴流行语 听查理·帕克入睡 They'll talk in slang and fall asleep to Charlie Parker.
校对 耳屎可以吃
-进戒酒所 -每个小孩都想生在我们家 - Rehab kids. - Every kid will want to be our kid.
时间轴 黑眼圈很重
我那天去看塔菲和戴尔的孩子了 You know, I saw Taffy and Dell's baby the other day.
时间轴 超能力是吃
-啥样 -又胖又吵 - Yeah? How was it? - Big, loud.
时间轴 Lee
像戴尔一样黏人 Needy. Like Dell.
要是他育儿技能和垒球技能差不多 If his parenting skills are anything like his softball skills,
时间轴 网鱼选
那孩子要完 彻底完 that kid is going down. A lot.
时间轴 格物致知
不过他们婴儿房很好看 Their nursery was beautiful, though.
均为儿童喜爱的形象
他们天花板上画小象巴巴 墙上画小艾 They painted Babar on the ceiling and Eloise on the walls.
压制 耳屎可以吃
总监 耳屎可以吃
-我们会更好 -是嘛 - Ours will be better. - Really?
我搞头真的小象一屁股塞进衣柜里 I'm gonna get the real Babar and shove his ass in the closet.
确实对她不算童年阴影哈 That won't be too traumatizing for her.
或者他 Or him.
-干嘛 -我们有公寓了 - What? - We have the apartment now.
足够宽敞 爸妈就在楼上 Plenty of space, parents right upstairs,
随时可以看孩子... always around to babysit...
-随时都在 -你工作很顺 - Always around. - You're doing great at work.
-钱也赚到了 -你裙子买得更快 - Money's coming in. - Dresses are coming in faster.
你觉得...是时候了吗 You think maybe... it's time?
不知道 I don't know.
差不多了 We're close.
不过是时候认真"试验"了 It might be time to get serious about trying, though.
我说真的 I mean really trying.
我整个下周都可以在家跟你"试验" I could stay home from work all next week and try a lot.
你想的话 10到15分钟就试一次 Every 10 to 15 minutes if you want.
臭不要脸 Talk about chutzpah.
坚持不"泄" 决不罢休 And we will try till we get it right.
我这个人非常完美主义的 And I am nothing if not a perfectionist.
快结账吧你 Pay the check, please.
如果需要待在我们的精致卧室 If we have to stay in that froufrou bedroom of ours
试上个半年 没问题 for the next six months trying, we will.
不吃饭不喝水 铁杵磨成针 No food, no water, just a whole lot of trying.
-多给点小费 -我一直多给 - Leave a good tip. - I always do.
对了 我怀孕了 Oh, by the way, I'm pregnant.
出租车诶 Ooh, hey, a cab.
-我去拦车 -你说怀孕了吗 - I'll get it. - Did you say you're pregnant?
米琪 认真的吗 Midge? Are you serious?
等等 孩子是我的吗 Wait, am I the father?
巡演日程全改了 All the tour dates have changed,
孩子的安排也得跟着调 so I need to remake the kids' schedule.
让莫斯科维茨夫人来调整吧 I could have Mrs. Moskowitz do it.
我可以安排孩子 乔尔 I can make the schedule for the kids, Joel.
行吧 那你定吧 Okay, fine. Make the schedule.
这是这个月的钱 Here's this month's money.
纽约曼哈顿一所历史悠久的私立男生学校
科利杰学校的事怎么办 Now, what do we do about Collegiate?
学校很好啊 伊森也被录取了 It's an amazing school, and Ethan got in.
-办个派对吧 -讲真吗 - We throw a party, right? - Really?
-就这样 -之前不计划好了吗 - That's your answer? - It's what we wanted.
那是两年前的想法了 现在情况变了 It's what we wanted two years ago. Things are different now.
两所分别为高等男子学校和女子学校
计划就是伊森上科利杰 艾斯特上布里尔利啊 Ethan at Collegiate. Esther at Brearley. That was the plan.
他被录取是好事 但现实点 科利杰可不便宜 Look, it's great he got in, but let's face it. Collegiate's not cheap.
咱俩都有工作 还都是晚上 And we're both working now, and we're both working nights.
酒吧开业后 我相当于德古拉[吸血鬼] Once this club opens, I'm fucking Dracula.
你也要巡演 就算巡演完了... You're on tour, and even when you get back...
想说什么 乔尔 What are you saying, Joel?
我觉得应该让他在皇后区上学 I think we should consider putting him in school in Queens.
抱歉 我没准备好 I'm sorry. I wasn't ready.
我先喝口水才好喷你 Let me get a sip of water so I can do a proper spit take.
-米琪 -我要喷的 - Midge... - If anything calls for a spit take,
就是那句"在皇后区上学" it's the words "School in Queens."
科利杰在上西区 Collegiate's on the Upper West Side.
我们家都没人住在上西区啊 No one in our family lives on the Upper West Side.
知道车这种东西吗 Have you heard of a car?
酒吧开业后我每晚都得守着 I am gonna be at the club every night once it opens.
伊森秋季开学 Ethan starts school in fall.
你秋季在哪呢 我来看看 Where are you in the fall? Let me see.
突然发掘戏剧天赋了是吧 My, we have discovered a flair for the dramatic, haven't we?
分别在德国 德国 瑞士 瑞典
杜塞尔多夫 法兰克福 苏黎世 斯德哥尔摩 Dusseldorf, Frankfurt, Zurich, Stockholm.
好 那我送他 你去接他 Great. So, I'll take him, you pick him up?
乔尔 不能让孩子在皇后区上学 Joel, our children cannot go to school in Queens.
-为什么 -因为...皇后区嘛 - Why? - Because... Queens.
-具体一点 -他必须去最好的学校啊 - Need a little more. - He has to go to the best school.
他必须和聪明孩子做同学 He has to be with the bright kids,
不然发挥不出潜力 or he won't live up to his potential.
他们说他天资过人 They say he's advanced.
-伊森吗 -对 - Ethan? - Yes.
-我们家的伊森 -对 - Our Ethan? - Yes.
-谁说的 -他们 - Who says that? - They.
-他们是谁 -就他们啊 - Who's they? - Them.
伊森还天资过人 Advanced. Ethan?
-他们说有点希望 -"有希望"我信 - They said he shows promise. - "Promise" I can buy.
但是 乔尔 科利杰就能把"希望"变成潜力啊 But, Joel, "Promise" can turn into potential at Collegiate.
要是他上了皇后大学 If he goes to Queens U,
"希望"就变成了"闪开兄弟 叉车通过" "Promise" turns into, "Move it, pal, forklift coming through."
首先 他五岁就上皇后大学的话 First of all, if he gets into Queens U at five,
那确实天资过人了 he's definitely advanced.
其次 不是我在作对啊 And second, I'm not the bad guy here.
你现实一点 Think practically for a second.
我必须赶紧搬出工厂 不然太奇怪了 I have to move out of the factory soon or it's just weird.
我要找个离酒吧近的公寓 I should find an apartment close to the club,
干脆让他在唐人街上学 so we can put him in a school in Chinatown
这样两门语言都说不顺溜 if we want him to be behind in two languages.
我们双方父母都住皇后区 His grandparents live in Queens. Both sets.
晚上总得有人陪孩子吧 And somebody should be with the kids at night.
你就偏要现在开酒吧 You had to pick now to open the club, right?
真会选时机 Great timing.
对不起哈 但你别忘了 Sorry about the timing, but if you remember,
你本来巡演这会该收尾了吧 you were supposed to be in the homestretch of your tour by now.
没人通知我留两个月给夏伊崩溃 No one told me to add two months so Shy could have a breakdown.
没有崩溃 他是累坏了 It wasn't a breakdown. He was exhausted.
再说伊森要是在皇后区上学 And if Ethan goes to school in Queens
长大后发现他有资格上科利杰的 and later finds out he got into Collegiate,
-他会怨死我们的 -不告诉他呗 - he will hold it against us. - We won't tell him.
等他开始约会 Someday he will date a girl
女生的爸刚好是科利杰招生的 whose father is the head of Collegiate admissions,
他爸就会提起校方有多惋惜 and he will mention that they were very disappointed
录取了都没让孩子上学 that we didn't put him in when he got accepted,
然后儿子结婚也不会请我们了 and then we won't be invited to the wedding.
他上哪认识这女孩 他就待在皇后区 How's he gonna meet this girl? He'll be in Queens.
-他会去市区的 -不准他去 - He'll go into the city. - We won't let him.
-他有办法的 -不告诉他还有市区 - He'll find a way. - We won't tell him there's a city.
你觉得他会不知道吗 You don't think he's gonna know there's a city?
-他不识字吗 -在皇后区上学 - Won't he read? - He goes to school in Queens.
一半概率不识字吧 Odds are fifty-fifty.
跟我贫嘴有用吗 Do you think this bit is helping things?
我不想吵架 I don't want to fight.
我也想让他去科利杰上学 I want him to go to Collegiate, too.
我想他和聪明孩子一起念书 I want him to be with the advanced kids.
但我养不起啊 我们也不住那了 But I can't afford it, and we don't live there anymore.
我们不用现在决定 We don't have to decide this now.
-糟了 我要走... -我也是 - Shit. I have to... - So do I.
对了 帮我个忙 Oh, listen, I need a favor.
帮阿奇劝劝伊莫金 Talk to Imogene for Archie.
他快愁死了 她还是不消气 The guy's drowning, and she just won't melt.
-他还住你那呢 -对 - He's still at your place? - Yes.
大家都快被他搞疯了 He's driving everybody crazy.
而且他有赔偿风险 Plus, he's an insurance hazard.
厂里哪根管子他没撞过 There's not a pole in the place he hasn't slammed into.
她还在气什么 难道他... What's she still so mad about? Did he...
不不 他什么也没干 我发誓 No, no. He's done nothing, I swear.
他说转告伊莫金他想她了 He said to tell Imogene he misses her,
他们可以每年圣诞都去波科诺群山 and they can go to the Poconos every year for Christmas
拜托让他回家吧 if she'll just let him come home.
-帮帮他 -好 我找她聊 - Please? - Okay. I'll talk to her.
但我先不说去波科诺这部分 But I'm gonna leave the Poconos out for now.
阿奇已经够惨了 Archie has suffered enough.
上午11点15分 It's 11:15 in the morning
纽约1010WINS新闻电台 here in New York City. 1010 WINS.
为您播放板刷头乐队的《人生如梦》 And here are The Crew-Cuts with "Sh-Boom."
*人生如梦* *Oh, life could be a dream*
忘给钱了 抱歉 I didn't pay. Sorry.
给 Here.
我要当爸爸了 I'm gonna be a father!
*我是你的此生挚爱* *I'm the only one that you love*
*人生梦一场啊亲爱的* *Life could be a dream, sweetheart.*
《了不起的麦瑟尔夫人》
第三季 第八集
"世界虽无奇不有 "One rarely sees anything as mystifying
但昨晚在巴里摩尔剧院 as the production of Miss Julie
上演的《朱莉小姐》却荒唐至极 that took place last night at the Barrymore Theatre.
纽约最老的爱尔兰啤酒馆
观剧体验好比麦索利提前打烊了 The experience was almost as if McSorley's closed early
烂醉如泥的顾客们随处游荡 and its inebriated patrons wandered over,
捡了一份斯特林堡的剧本 found a copy of Strindberg's play,
脱掉裤子在上面拉屎" dropped their pants and defecated on it."
"如此拙劣的演技 "The performance was so debased
都可以作为研究课题 that one could almost recommend it
从考古学的角度 as an archeological exploration
探索现代社会的衰退 into the decay of modern society.
尽管列侬女士像大闹的傻瓜 However, despite the braying jackasses
莫名其妙即兴发挥带来了欢乐 delighting in Ms. Lennon's bizarre improvisations,
《朱莉小姐》今晚就将不再上演 this production of Miss Julie will be closing tonight,
首演后即夭折" one night after it opened."
-杰基 -干嘛 - Jackie. - What?
你觉得老娘不知道吗 You think I don't already know this shit?
妈的闭嘴 Shut the fuck up.
不是说没负面报道嘛 They say there is no bad press.
你手里那份是一等一的负面报道 That in your hand is some grade A bad press.
好了 蠢鸟们 就这样了 All right, fuckers. This is it.
需要指路的话 华盛顿公园往左飞 Washington Square Park is to the left if you give a shit.
又没热水了 Hot water's out again.
我去看看热水器 I'm gonna go check the water heater.
天呐 都不想离开这破房啊 Jesus, nobody wants to leave this apartment?
喂 Hello.
苏西 我有事跟你说 Hey, Suz. Listen, I have something I need to tell you.
你坐着呢吗 A-Are you sitting down?
坐下了 Yeah.
妈死了 Mom's dead.
老天 你刚吓着我了 苔丝 Oh, Jesus. You scared me for a minute, Tess.
这事不用坐着说啊 Didn't need to be sitting for that.
-怎么 睡梦中窒息死了吗 -不是 - What happened? Her liver strangle her in her sleep? - No.
她想从养老院窗子爬出去 She tried to crawl out of the window of the nursing home
打算去买酒 结果摔了 to go find some booze, and she fell.
-操 -三层楼 - Shit. - Three stories.
操 死得很惨啊 Fuck. Bad way to go.
不不 她没摔死 No. No, she survived the fall,
然后顺着码头滚进水里去了 but then she rolled off the dock into the water.
-那她是淹死的啰 -不 她一路狗刨 - So she drowned? - No. She was dog-paddling
游回码头中途被船撞了 back to the docks and got hit by a boat.
-我操 -不过没撞死 - Holy Christ. - But she survived that.
她被救上岸送到医院 然后感染了 They got her out, took her to a hospital, and she got an infection.
打断下 死没死 I'm sorry, is she dead yet?
死了 被药噎死的 Yep. Choked on the meds.
她倒是挺懂怎么解脱 Well, lady sure knew how to make an exit.
我们得商量下房子的事 Now we got to figure out the house.
要我老实说 我对那鬼地方没兴趣 I don't really give a shit about that hellhole, to be perfectly honest.
她留给我俩了 You know, she left it to us.
啥 不能吧 What? I-Impossible.
我看遗嘱上写着呢 I'm going over her will. It says,
"房子归女儿们所有 "The house goes to the girls,
因为我的人渣儿子和他爸一样又丑又臭" 'cause my piece of shit son looks and smells just like his father."
天 她真的很讨厌阿尔提 Boy, she really hated Artie.
你记得吗 之前她骗他不是亲生的 Remember when she tried to convince him he wasn't really hers
让他出去寻亲 and he should go find his real family?
他走了整整一周 He was gone for a whole week.
对 蛮好玩的 Yeah. That was fun.
好了 我要挂了 我们再想办法 All right, look, I got to go. Uh, we'll figure something out.
-去喝点酒 晚点打给你 -好 - Drink something, and I'll call you later. - Yeah.
什么时候告诉切斯特 Hey, we ever gonna tell Chester
根本没有热水和热水器 there's no hot water and no hot water heater?
打死不说 Fuck, no.
先生们 纽扣酒吧 At the Button Club, gentlemen,
要打造成高端酒吧 酒水上乘 we will be known as the spot with the best drinks,
酒保专业 表演一流 the best bartenders, the best entertainment.
往酒里掺水的就滚蛋 Anyone who waters down the goods, they hit the pavement.
打收银台主意的也滚蛋 Anyone skims from the till, they hit the pavement.
我五分钟前就点了 咋还没喝上 I ordered five minutes ago. Why am I not drinking yet?
最后...一箱 Last... crate.
米琪找伊莫金聊了没 Hey, has Midge talked to Imogene yet?
我没消息 I haven't heard anything,
没聊的话我就不打电话了 因为我一打... and I don't want to call her if she hasn't, because when I call...
她就挂断 she hangs up.
挂得特别狠 And it's a real hang-up,
"嘣" 中西部奶农那种猛摔 like a "Bam," midwestern dairy farmer type slam.
很可怕 It's terrifying.
-乔尔 -干嘛 - Joel? - What?
米琪 伊莫金 Midge? Imogene?
哦 我不知道 Oh. I don't know.
不介意帮我看会场子吧 Hey, would you mind holding down the fort for a few minutes?
我去检查下保险丝 I just want to make sure the fuse box is secure
免得突然断电 so we don't have any surprise blackouts.
当然 Sure.
-抱歉 能不能... -我已婚了 - Excuse me, could you... - I'm married!
-我就是想问... -我爱我老婆 - I just had a question... - I love my wife!
我想回家 I want to go home.
抱歉打扰了 就是来通知一下 Sorry to interrupt. Just wanted you all to know
我的酒吧还有一周开业 that my club will be opening a week from today,
欢迎你们都来 and you're all invited.
到时候美酒 音乐 氛围佳 There's gonna be good drinks, ambiance, music,
所以过来[下来]看看 so come on down.
应该是上去看看 Or up, actually.
还有 我在想 Oh, and, uh, I was hoping
有人能帮我给林梅捎个口信吗 that maybe someone could get a message to Mei Lin?
我有阵子没见她了 I haven't seen her for a while.
我们之前吵架了 We, um, had a fight.
细节就不多说了 是我犯蠢 You don't need to hear the details, but I was an idiot.
我给她打过 I tried to call her,
但要么是她换号了 but the number she gave me isn't hers anymore
要么就是假号 or was never hers.
我不知道她住哪 I don't know her address.
我知道她在念医学院 但我不知道哪一所 I know she's in medical school, but I don't know which one.
其实我完全不了解她 Actually, I don't really know anything about her.
但我知道 她眼睛很美 Except... she's got these great eyes.
她聪明又风趣 And she's smart and funny.
她极度神秘 让我很无奈 She's incredibly mysterious, which is frustrating...
又觉得她性感 and a little sexy.
你们肯定都在想 I'm sure you're all thinking,
"这人怎么连自己约会对象都不了解的" "How could he know so little about the person he's dating?"
很奇怪 It's strange.
显然她不想我过多了解她的生活 Clearly, she doesn't want me to know a lot about her life,
其实我去年也过得一团糟 and, frankly, my life's been a mess this past year,
所以我也不太愿意分享 so I wasn't too eager to share, either.
我结过婚 后来出轨了 I was married, and I cheated on my wife,
这种事当然不想告诉新女友 which is not something you want to tell your new girlfriend.
没说她算女朋友 Not that she's my girlfriend.
我也不知道她算什么 I don't know what she is.
总之 能帮我转达的话 我很感激 Anyhow, if you could let her know all this, I'd be grateful.
开业对我特别重要 This opening is a pretty big deal for me,
她不在就不一样了 and it won't be the same if she's not there.
跟她强调一下我夸她眼睛 Oh, and really stress that eyes thing.
她会很喜欢的 I think she'll like that.
谢了 Thanks.
-炖牛肉 -谢谢你 塞尔达 - Goulash. - Thank you, Zelda.
-酸奶油 -谢谢你 塞尔达 - Sour cream. - Thank you, Zelda.
还有面 面别忘了 Noodles. Don't forget the noodles.
谢谢你 塞尔达 你找出规律没 Thank you, Zelda. Do you see a pattern here?
-几点了 -7点36 - What time is it? - 7:36.
还有四分钟回去上班 Four minutes left on my break.
干嘛 莫伊舍 What, Moishe?
没事 Oh, nothing.
你不是说"文字可以改变世界" I know you said the written word can change the world.
我刚看了圈外面 Well, I just looked outside,
目前呢 毫无变化 and so far, it's exactly the same.
-天 -亚伯 - Oh, boy. - You know, Abe,
我的父亲从故国来到这里的时候 when my father came over here from the old country,
他想要个山羊牧场 he wanted a little goat farm.
鬼知道原因 Who knows why.
他坚信山羊代表未来 The man was convinced goats were the future.
我们住在温顿的廉价房 We lived in a tenement on Rivington...
两个房间挤了12个人 他还想养山羊 12 people, two rooms... And yet this man wanted goats.
他推车卖过腌黄瓜 He pushed a cart. He sold pickles.
但他想养羊 But he wanted goats.
-赶紧把面递给我 -最后呢 - You got to pass the noodles. Quickly. - In the end,
他死在人行道上 the man dies out on a sidewalk,
手里攥着腌黄瓜 包里分文不剩 pickle in his hand, nothing in his pocket.
也没有羊 No goats.
-想说什么 莫伊舍 -还问 他都住嘴了 都说完了 - Is there a point, Moishe? - Really? He'd stopped. It was over.
有时候你想要的和你得到的 Sometimes what you want, what you get...
完全不同 two very different things.
不过别担心 我帮你观察 Don't worry, though. I am on the lookout.
我一发现世界在改变 The minute I see that the world is changing,
我就立马告诉你 you'll be the first to know.
pickle: 腌黄瓜；难题
但现在 你想要的太难咯 But for now, your goat is a pickle.
-塞尔达 -我得走了 明天见 - Zelda? - Oh, I have to go. See you tomorrow.
塞尔达 Zelda!
-他说的对 -他哪对过 - He's right. - He's never right.
我竟然盼着那篇文章能改变世界 I don't know what I thought was going to happen with that article.
这才一周嘛 It's only been a week.
你知道《时报》今天的专栏文章是什么吗 You know what the op-ed in the Times is about today?
史丹顿岛上鹿群数量爆炸 The explosion of the deer population on Staten Island.
亚伯 Oh, Abe.
难抑繁殖欲望的鹿 Lubricious, fornicating deer.
有何措施 What should be done?
你不能让莫伊舍左右了你 You cannot let Moishe get in your head.
我坚决不允许 I absolutely forbid it.
我好丢脸 I'm ashamed of myself.
为了篇文章激动 Getting excited over an article,
跟小学生得了荣誉消防员徽章一样 like I won an honorary fireman's badge in elementary school.
我决定了 罗斯 I've made a decision, Rose.
我要去做家教 I am going to tutor.
-教什么 -教白痴 街上到处都是 - Tutor what? - Idiots. The city's teeming with them.
随便扔块石头就砸中白痴 Toss a rock, hit an idiot.
我去家教 辅导 代课 I'll tutor, I'll coach, I'll substitute teach.
都可以 不能这样了 Anything. This stops now.
我认真的 I am going to get serious,
我要带咱们搬出这里 and I am going to get us out of this house.
晚上7点39分 7:39 in the evening,
世界还是一丁点儿都没有改变 and the world is still exactly the same.
《I'm Shakin'》——Jack White
*你轻抚我的手背开始甜言蜜语* *When you touch my hand and talk sweet talk*
*我的双膝颤动 步伐摇摆* *I got a knockin' in my knees and a wobble in my walk*
*我开始心动* *And I'm tremblin'*
*我开始颤抖* *And I'm shakin'*
我靠 真是夜店了 Holy shit, it's a nightclub.
你做到了 兄弟 You did it, pal.
你觉得天花板的瓷砖稳吗 You think those ceiling tiles are gonna stay up?
办公室偷的胶带我都用上了 I used every roll of Scotch tape I could steal from the office,
所以... 应该稳吧 so... hope so?
谢了 阿奇 真的 Thanks, Archie. Really.
-没你我做不到的 -你可以的 - I couldn't have done it without you. - No, you could've.
就是胶带得自己去买了 But you would've had to buy the tape.
我看起来怎样 像大老板吗 How do I look? Do I look like I'm in charge?
莫斯科维茨夫人比较像老板 Mrs. Moskowitz looks like she's in charge.
是 我应该带胸针的 Yep. I should've worn a brooch.
今晚挺热闹啊 Attracting quite a crowd here tonight.
*一股寒意将我包围* *Whenever this chill comes over me*
*我想用尽全力将你抱紧* *I wanna hug you with all of my might*
失陪一下 Excuse me a minute.
*我开始紧张* *And I'm sweatin'*
*我开始颤抖* *And I'm shakin'*
-看来你收到口信了 -是啊 - I see you got my message. - I did.
显然你对我的眼睛奇怪地点评了一番 Apparently you said something weird about my eyes.
你今晚很美 You look beautiful tonight.
-给你带了东西 -是嘛 - I brought you something. - Oh, yeah?
开业礼物 Little opening night gift.
*我开始颤抖* *And I'm shakin'*
因为你会不够用 'Cause you're gonna run out.
*我感觉已经历尽磨难* *Feel like I've been run through the mill*
*动弹不得 摇晃不定* *I can't move around, and I can't stand still*
-我想你了 -那下次犯蠢就记住 - I missed you. - Well, remember that next time you're an idiot.
所以他们还说我犯蠢了 Ah, so they told you I was an idiot.
不需要别人说 I did not need to be told.
*参孙是个好男人* *Samson was a mighty good man*
你为了一卷卫生纸什么都干得出啊 You will do anything for a roll of toilet paper.
*那个时代之最* *Strongest in his day*
*达莉拉出现后剪断他的头发* *Then along came Delilah and clipped his wig*
*我好像也这样被你俘获* *And it looks like you took me the same old way*
*我开始紧张* *So I'm nervous*
*我开始颤抖* *And I'm shakin'*
麦瑟尔夫人 Mrs. Maisel.
我的天啊 真是惊喜 My goodness. This is a surprise.
你好 莫斯科维茨夫人 Hello, Mrs. Moskowitz.
-生意不错啊 -是的 - Good turnout, huh? - It is.
麦瑟尔先生花了很多心思 Mr. Maisel worked very hard on the place.
好为他骄傲 I'm so proud of him.
入场费一块五 Oh, it's a $1.50 cover charge.
我们出来再给 奶奶 Eh, we'll catch you on the way out, Grandma.
亲爱的 这样恐怕不行 Oh, dear. I'm afraid that's not going to work.
幸好我外甥是洋基队的3A级球员 But luckily, my nephew plays Triple-A ball for the Yankees.
他把我教得特好 He's a wonderful coach.
-我去吧台了 -菲利 - I'll be at the bar. - Philly!
她的免费 That one's on the house.
不行 这是五分 亲爱的 Oh, no. That's a nickel, dear.
*颤抖 不住颤抖* *Shakin', shakin', shakin'*
对不起 Oh, sorry.
*不停颤抖* *Shakin', yeah.*
谢谢各位 Thanks, everyone.
中场休息一下 We'll be back after a short break.
跟我来 Come with me.
干嘛 去哪 What? Where?
米琪 你来了 Midge, you're here.
肯定要来的啊 我会错过这个吗 Of course I'm here. You think I'd miss this?
谢谢 真的 Thank you, really.
给你介绍个人 I'd like you to meet someone.
梅 这是我前妻 米琪 Mei, this is my ex-wife, Midge.
米琪 认识一下梅 Midge, I'd like you to meet Mei.
-你结过婚啊 -什么 - You were married? - What?
你没跟她说你结过婚啊 You didn't tell her you were married?
不 我说了 No, I did.
肯定说了啊 Of course I did.
你知道我结过婚的 You knew that I was married.
-不知道 -知道 - Nope. - Yes.
天啊 乔尔 Wow, Joel. Wow.
等一下等一下 Now, hold on just a second here.
我绝对... I absolute...
见鬼 Shit.
等一会就好了 朋友们 Just a momentary problem, folks.
你们能等我一会吗 Can you just give me one second?
伙计 我刚买了一杯酒 Man, I just bought a drink.
我在修了 稍安勿躁 I'm fixing it. Relax.
-阿奇 -我爱我老婆 - Archie. - I love my wife!
来了 Oh, coming.
我知道他结过婚 I knew he was married.
你也是 Back at you.
所以 你就是他女朋友 So, you're the girlfriend.
你就是他老婆 And you're the wife.
我要当医生了 I'm going to be a doctor.
我要去阿波罗剧场演出了 I'm gonna play the Apollo.
音乐呢 Music!
客人们越来越焦躁了 Natives are getting restless.
失陪一下 Excuse me.
晚上好 女士们先生们 Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
我叫米琪·麦瑟尔 Uh, I'm Midge Maisel.
艺名是麦瑟尔夫人 Mrs. Maisel onstage.
谢谢 Hey, thanks.
我有一段时间没在家乡演出了 I haven't played my hometown for a while.
我这几个月在跟夏伊·鲍德温巡演 I've been touring with Shy Baldwin for a few months, so...
知道人们还记得我真好 Nice to know that people haven't forgotten me.
你们还记得我 You haven't forgotten me.
我的孩子们都把我忘光了 My kids have completely forgotten me.
他们已经腻烦了 有一个娱乐圈的老妈 They've gotten very jaded having a mother in show business.
有一天回家 I-I showed up the other day.
我的女儿指着她的尿布说 My daughter pointed to her diaper and said,
"亲爱的 你能拿一下这个吗" "Sweetie, would you get this?"
然后她点了一支烟 Then she lit her cigarette,
倒了一杯黛克瑞酒 还解雇了她的经纪人 refilled her daiquiri bottle and fired her agent.
现在她爸妈都搞娱乐业了 And now both her parents are in the biz.
没错 你离开的时候 就会出这事 Oh, yeah. This is what happens when you leave.
还记得第一次吗 Remember the first time?
怕你们还不知道 In case you don't know,
这家酒吧是又即将是我前夫 乔尔·麦瑟尔开的 this club is owned by my again soon to be ex-husband, Joel Maisel.
我今晚来这是想说... And I am here tonight to say...
有一半是我的 that half's mine.
开玩笑的啦 I'm kidding.
一定要抢有浴室的那一半 Always take the side with the bathroom.
乔尔是一个很棒的父亲 Joel is a great father.
我上来只是想告诉他这个 And I just wanted to get up here and tell him that,
因为前几天我们为了儿子吵了一架 because we had a little tiff earlier this week about our son.
我们五岁的孩子就要去联合学校上学了 Our five-year-old just got into Collegiate,
但学费太贵了 得卖了孩子器官才够交学费 and it costs so much, we have to sell him for parts to get the tuition.
我女儿就很紧张地看着我们 My daughter is watching this process very nervously.
结婚养孩子难啊 It's so hard to raise kids when you're married.
离了婚养孩子更难 It's really hard to raise kids when you're divorced.
但如果有一个很棒的爸爸 But it's not that hard to raise them
也就没那么难了 when their dad's a great guy.
但是 乔尔 孩子绝对不会在皇后区读书 But, Joel, there's no fucking way our kids are going to school in Queens.
不然我就把这烧了 I'll burn this fucking place to the ground.
祝各位玩得开心 Have a great time, everybody.
喝多点 我们就有学费钱了 And drink up. All proceeds go to Collegiate.
《'Tain't what you do》——Jimmie Lunceford
*这非你风格* *'Tain't what you do*
*但你得这么做* *It's the way that you do it*
*这非你风格* *'Tain't what you do*
*但你得这么做* *It's the way that you do it*
*这非你风格* *'Tain't what you do*
*但你得这么做* *It's the way that you do it*
*因为这才是成功之道* *That's what gets results*
*妈妈 妈妈* *Mama, mama*
*这非你风格* *'Tain't what you do*
*但你得开始了* *It's the time that you do it*
*这非你风格* *'Tain't what you do*
*但你得开始了* *It's the time that you do it*
*这非你风格* *'Tain't what you do*
抱歉 Sorry.
*但你得开始了* *It's the time that you do it*
*因为这才是成功之道* *That's what gets results*
*你可以搏一搏* *You can try hard*
*虽然没有意义* *Don't mean a thing*
*不用担心* *Take it easy*
*放轻松* *Breezy*
*你会随着摇摆乐动起来* *Then your jive will swing*
*这非你风格* *Oh, it ain't what you do*
*但这是你开始之处* *It's the place that you do it*
*这非你风格* *'Tain't what you do*
*但这是你开始之处* *It's the place that you do it*
*这非你风格* *'Tain't what you do*
*但这是你开始之处* *It's the place that you do it*
*因为这才是成功之道* *That's what gets results*
你好 伯妮斯 Hello, Bernice.
我想你了 I've missed you.
你好 Hi.
你们好 姑娘们 Hello, girls.
你好 Hi.
曼尼 你又在休息了啊 Manny. You on a break again?
看你怎么定义"休息" How do you define "break"?
*这非你风格* *'Tain't what you do*
*但你得这么做* *It's the way that you do it*
*这非你风格* *'Tain't what you do*
*但你得这么做* *It's the way that you do it*
*这非你风格* *'Tain't what you do*
*但你得这么做* *It's the way that you do it*
*因为这才是成功之道* *That's what gets results*
*妈妈 妈妈* *Mama, mama*
*这非你风格* *'Tain't what you do*
*但你得开始了* *It's the time that you do it*
*这非你风格* *'Tain't what you do*
*但你得开始了* *It's the time that you do it*
*这非你风格* *'Tain't what you do*
*但你得开始了* *It's the time that you do it*
*因为这才是成功之道* *That's what gets results*
波莱特 嗨 Paulette, hi.
-你看见莫伊舍吗 -在那 - Have you seen Moishe? - Over there.
他在那儿 He's over there.
你看出来没 看出什么来没 Do you notice anything, anything at all?
看出来就说 Just throw it out there.
-他们不对称 -他们不对称 - They don't match. - They do not match.
所以 你得找一个 So, you see, you would need to find
非常特别的人才能穿上这样的袖子 对吗 a very specific person to wear these sleeves, right?
一个... A person whose...
-手臂不对称的人 -没错 - Arms don't match? - Exactly.
我不是说没有这种人 Now, I am not saying that this person does not exist,
但是这个市场太小了 所以我们为何不... but the market is probably small, so why don't we...
做对称的袖子 Make the sleeves match.
你应该当管事的 You should be running this place.
你好 莫伊舍 Hello, Moishe.
看啊 米里亚姆 Well, well, well, Miriam.
真是惊喜啊 This is a surprise.
我正好在附近 就想过来看看 I was just in the neighborhood, and I thought I'd drop in.
-他做了什么 -谁 - What did he do? - Who?
-我儿子 -没做什么 - My son. - Nothing.
我来是想谈生意的 I just came here to talk a little business.
-跟我谈吗 -是的 - With me? - Yes.
你缺裙子吗 You need a dress?
一直都缺 但这不是我来的原因 Always, but that's not why I'm here.
我想要买我的公寓 I want to buy my apartment.
-什么 -房子还在你手上吗 - I'm sorry? - Do you still own it?
-你的公寓 -对 - Your apartment? - Yes.
那间我买给你和乔尔的公寓 The apartment I bought for you and Joel... That apartment?
就是那间 That's the one.
-在我手上 -多少钱 - I do. - How much?
-解释下 -你也知道 - Explain. - Well, as you know,
我的职业开始步入正轨了 my career's really taking off now.
-什么职业 -喜剧演员 - Your career as what? - As a comedian.
但你都不会讲笑话 我们试过了 不好笑 But you can't tell a joke. We tried that. It didn't work.
尽管如此 我已经稳定工作一年了 Be that as it may, I have been working steadily for a year now.
我已经存了一大笔定金 I have a chunk of a down payment already saved.
我一分钱也没花 I have not spent a dime of my earnings.
我的经纪人拿着我所有的钱 My manager has been holding onto all of my money,
所以我保证 这些钱都不会变成帽子 so I assure you, none of it is going to hats.
你跟乔尔要复合了吗 Are you and Joel getting back together?
不 我们并没有 No, we are not.
那你为什么想要那间公寓 Then why do you want the apartment?
为了我自己 For me.
为了孩子们 For my kids.
还为了我的家人 For my family.
等等 说到"家人" 你是说... Hold on. By "family," You mean...
爸爸妈妈在找到房子之前都会跟我住 Mama and Papa will stay with me until they're settled.
你引起了我的兴趣 You have officially piqued my interest.
你觉得怎样 What do you think?
乔尔知道这件事吗 Does Joel know about this?
莫伊舍 跟乔尔无关 Moishe, this is not about Joel.
这是我的事 This is about me.
我想要决定孩子们在哪成长 I want to decide where my children grow up
去哪上学 and where they go to school.
我喜欢那间公寓 I love that apartment.
我想要要它 I want to own it.
我想要用我赚的钱 把它买下来 I want to buy it with my money that I earned.
有担保物吗 Do you have any collateral?
我和夏伊·鲍德温的合同 My contract with Shy Baldwin.
上面都写了 It lays out everything.
欧洲巡演六个月 春季有个综艺节目特别演出 Six months in Europe, a variety special in spring,
12月有个圣诞节特别演出 a Christmas special in December,
都保证了有我的场子 both with guaranteed spots for me.
美国喜剧演员 被誉为"喜剧之王"
圣诞节特别演出 跟鲍勃·霍普一样[一起] Christmas special, like with Bob Hope?
对 但没跟鲍勃·霍普一起 Yes, but without Bob Hope.
鲍勃·霍普的演出都很棒 Bob Hope does great specials.
这个演出也会很棒 只是没有鲍勃·霍普 This will be a great special, just without Bob Hope.
如果是圣诞节特别演出 就更应该请鲍勃·霍普 If it's a Christmas special, it should really have Bob Hope.
那你觉得怎么样 莫伊舍 What do you think, Moishe?
我想告诉你 我从不喜欢我儿子对你所做的一切 I want you to know that I never liked what my son did to you.
你是个好姑娘 You were a good girl.
我永远无法理解他怎么想的 I will never understand what was going through his head.
我不想要任何帮助 莫伊舍 我不需要怜悯 I don't want any favors, Moishe. I don't want pity.
我也不想你便宜卖我 只因为我是家人 I don't expect you to sell the apartment to me cheap just because I'm family.
卖你便宜不好吗 But it would be nice.
当然好 你儿子不仅甩了我 而且我还是家人 Well, sure. I mean, your son did dump me, and I am family.
好吧 这确实有点好笑 Okay, that was a little funny.
那么 莫伊舍 So... Moishe...
你怎么说 what do you say?
第四轮还剩60秒 60 seconds to go in the fourth round.
跟平常一样吗 The usual?
帕特森不可能赢的 There's no way Patterson's gonna win.
别剪太多了 Not too much, now.
我想要看起来干净帅气 跟迈尔斯一样 I want it to look clean and cool, like Miles.
无论他剪得干净帅气 还是闭着眼睛乱剪 Your hair looks the same whether he makes it clean and cool
你的头发都一个样 or he closes his eyes and hacks away.
就像迈尔斯一样 Like Miles...
闭嘴 比利 Shut up, Billy.
你这个爱嫉妒的老头 You're a jealous old man.
对啊 我这个爱嫉妒的老头 Yeah. I'm the jealous old man
还要给你们付理发钱呢 who's paying for these haircuts.
是啊 你讲得没错 Yeah, well... touche.
如果我让他现在停手 If I tell him to stop right now,
你的头发就只能一半长一半短 you'll have half a head done.
不错 看着不错 Good. That's good.
我真帅气 I look good.
我帅气吗 Don't I look good?!
苏西 比赛怎么样了 Hey, Susie, what's happening?
-帕特森会输的 -我不是问这个 - Patterson's going down. - That was not the question.
帕特森肯定要输 But it's gonna be the outcome.
别动了 好好让人剪头发 Stop moving so the man can finish.
你急什么 What kind of rush are you in?
你头上又没有什么好剪的 There's nothing up there for him to cut.
我修一下不行吗 There is grooming to be done.
我不像你 你个狗崽子 I'm not an animal like you.
苏西 Susie!
因戈是维京人 维京人总会赢 Ingo's a Viking. Vikings win.
所以你才能在街上 That's why you see so many Vikings
看见这么多维京人 walking around nowadays.
我押五块钱赌维京人输 I got five bucks says the Viking goes down.
-跟你赌 -我押十块赌他赢 - You're on - I got ten says he doesn't.
因戈会再次击败帕特森 Ingo will kill Patterson again.
吃了他 再把他的腿拉出来 Eat him and shit out his leg whole.
你可真是口吐芬芳啊 Wow. You do talk pretty.
-我也赌 -你已经跟我赌了10块了 - I'll take that bet. - You already bet me ten.
-我又不是只能和一个人打赌 -用谁的支票 - I can bet more than one person. - With whose paycheck?
姑娘们 在美容店能小点声吗 Hey, ladies, can we get a little quiet in the beauty parlor?
正比赛呢 There's a goddamn fight on.
-抽一支 -为啥 咱俩上床了吗 - Smoke this. - Why? Did we fuck?
你这个人太紧张了 You know, you are a very tense person.
我还以为你说 I just thought when you said
咱们要听拳击赛广播时 we were gonna listen to the fight,
就只听拳击比赛 that we were gonna, you know, listen to the fight.
还有在巡演之前再聊聊 And catch up before the tour.
那么 苏西·梅耶森联合公司 So, Susie Myerson and Associates...
你的客户准备好了吗 Is your client ready?
非要现在谈吗 We're having a conversation now?
-她准备好了吗 -好了 - Is she ready? - Yeah.
她在开幕之前不一直买买买 不过 She'll be shopping right up until curtain, but, yeah.
她准备好了 She's ready.
那你和苏菲·列侬什么情况 So, what happened with you and Sophie Lennon?
没什么 打错算盘了 Nothing. I made a bad call.
-不会再发生了 -肯定还会的 - It won't happen again. - Sure, it will.
我也经历过 I've been there.
-还记得内特·格林吗 -谁 - Remember Nate Green? - Who?
我原来以为他会大火特火 I thought he was gonna set the world on fire.
结果他一把火把酒铺烧了 Instead, he set a liquor store on fire.
我现在还每月到阿提卡[监狱]给他送烟 I still take him smokes in Attica once a month.
-糟心 -是啊 吃一堑长一智 - Shit. - Yeah, you live, you learn.
但是你和米琪 你俩处得好吗 But you and Midge, you're getting along?
还行吧 考虑到她能让我发财 Yeah. Considering she's gonna make me rich,
我们俩关系不错 we're getting along fine.
她能让你赚大钱吗 She's gonna make you rich?
你有没有看过你们的新合同 Have you read your new contract?
这才刚开始 你就看吧 It's just the beginning, pal. You'll see.
她在这世界上可是独一无二的 There is no one like her in the world.
她就像是我污得发亮的小仙女 She's like my dirty, sparkly, good fucking fairy.
什么 What?
看来你对她很有信心啊 You really believe in this girl.
不应该吗 Aren't I supposed to?
-估计会出岔子 -为什么 - Smells like trouble. - Why?
这样你就不能保持客观了 Just means you can't be objective.
相信我 我能 Oh, believe me, I can be objective.
我知道她什么时候低谷 I know when she sucks.
什么时候犯浑 I know when she's an asshole,
什么时候穿得像个神经病 or dressed like a mental patient.
她事儿多着呢 She's incredibly high maintenance.
我被逼去学怎么在暗处缝亮片 I had to learn how to sew on sequins in the dark.
她还总迟到 She's always late.
每两小时就得喂她 You got to feed her every two hours
跟个停车收费器一样 like a fucking parking meter.
可恶 我都没法子让夏伊吃东西 Shit. I can't get Shy to eat anything.
那孩子就指着咖啡 琴酒和夸赞过活了 That boy exists on coffee, gin and compliments.
都不知道他哪里来的精力 I don't know how he has the energy.
他一直都是那样 He's always been like that.
暴躁 易怒 Flashy, jumpy.
但是歌唱得好 But he can sing.
没人比得上他 Like no one else in the world.
你这是客观看法 对不对 That's objectively speaking, right?
是的 Yeah.
这工作很怪 It's a strange job
管理别人的事业 managing another person's career.
觉得自己是个大人物 You think you're so important,
但是下一秒 就发现自己在犹他州 and then suddenly, you're running around Utah
给夏伊找他喜欢的牙膏 looking for the kind of toothpaste Shy likes.
在犹他州有谁听夏伊的歌啊 Who the fuck listens to Shy in Utah?
但别搞错我的意思 Now, don't get me wrong.
我不是在抱怨 I'm not complaining.
有好日子也有坏日子 There's good times and bad times.
第一次夏伊的唱片爆红的时候 When Shy's first record went gold...
那可是好日子 that was a good time.
他们成功的时候真好 It's nice when they shine.
你也能沾点光 展现一下自己 You get to share in that, shine a little yourself.
但当他们做了坏事时 But then when they do bad things,
你也得做坏事 and then you do bad things...
-什么坏事 -你不情愿做的事情 - What bad things? - Things you don't want to do.
但是你必须做 But you have to.
你讨厌做 做了这事 You hate it. You do it.
这样你才有钱赚 And then you get paid.
天啊 真不敢相信 Oh, shit! I do not believe this!
相信什么 What? Don't believe what?
帕特森把那个维京人揍晕了 Patterson knocked out the Viking.
啥 什么情况 What? He what?
第五回合 一记左勾拳 Fifth round. Left hook.
就送他去见他先人了 Sent him to Valhalla.
他还没站起来 The man still hasn't gotten up.
-你这么高兴干嘛 -你刚输了钱 - Why are you so happy? - You just lost.
打得好 我钦佩一下 You gotta admire a job well done.
好了 亨利 你赢了 Okay, Henry, now you won,
我欠你一笔 and I owe you this debt,
但是你下半辈子还归我管 but I am still in charge of the rest of your life,
所以你接下来的这一秒会正式决定 so this next moment will officially define
咱俩的关系 our relationship.
你不用给我钱 You don't have to pay me.
-没事 -很好的决定 - It's fine. - Excellent definition.
赌博时最忌讳的就是恐惧 Nothing beats fear when it comes to gambling.
你没事吧 You okay?
你看起来跟坐飞机时一样 You look like you're on a plane.
没事 我只是 Yeah. I'm just...
可因戈在第二回合的时候赢了帕特森啊 I mean, he had him in round two. He had him.
哎呦 苏西输钱了 Ah... Susie lost some money!
你输了多少 How much you lose?
哎哟 我也输了 Come on, I lost, too.
虽然我不用给钱 但是我输了 I mean, I didn't have to pay, but I still lost.
你输了多少钱 How much did you lose?
苏西输了多少 Hey! How much did Susie lose?
我也不知道 Don't look at me.
你跟谁赌的 Come on, who'd you bet with?
我来解决 I'll take care of it.
你跟谁赌的 Who'd you bet with?
不是大事儿 It's not a big deal.
你输了多少 How much did you lose?
我没事 I'm good.
苏西 你输了多少 Susie, how much did you lose?
我没事 I'm fine.
我还有个约 得走了 I have a meeting. I have to go.
你赢大发了 Hey, you won big.
借我点 我好还给他 Let me borrow some so I can pay him.
有人用奶酪火锅的锅 Somebody used the fondue pot
做了不是奶酪火锅的菜 for something other than fondue.
我不想说是你干的 Now, I'm not saying it was you,
但他妈的就是你干的 but it was fucking you.
你没事吧 Hey, you okay?
罗斯 Rose.
天啊 Oh, my God.
太好了 你在这里 我快死掉了 I'm so glad you're here. Oh, I'm dying.
快死掉了 Dying.
-你还要喝吗 -怎么 不喝了 - Do you need this? - Why, no.
好 Good.
你肯定不会相信 You'll never believe it.
我自己都不敢相信 I can't believe it.
我周围的人也不敢相信 No one around me can believe it.
慢点说 科琳恩 别咬到舌头 Slow down, Corinne. You'll bite your tongue.
-成了 -什么成了 - It worked. - What worked?
希拉 我女儿订婚了 Shira, my daughter, is engaged.
-什么 -和那个兽医 - What? - To the veterinarian.
只约会了一次就成了 One date. That's all it took.
她告诉我的时候 我都惊呆了 When she told me, I was so stunned
我同意为他们在夏威夷的婚礼付钱 that I agreed to pay for a wedding in Hawaii.
夏威夷 Hawaii.
我们在夏威夷认识谁啊 Who the hell do we know in Hawaii?
谁都不认识 谁在乎呢 No one. Who cares?
她要穿草裙 She wants grass skirts
和尤克里里[乐器]伴奏 我同意了 and ukuleles and I'm not arguing.
她要结婚了 She's getting married.
等下 你坐这儿 Wait. Sit there.
给你的 For you.
这是我的心意 A token of my gratitude.
你的斯图本杯子 Your Steuben glassware...
我注意到 你每次来的时候都特别喜欢这些杯子 I noticed you always admired them when you came over.
-我不能收 -我坚持 - I can't. - I insist.
这些肯定很值钱吧 They must be worth a fortune.
如果我女儿结婚 Do you know what I would've paid
你知道我愿意付出什么吗 to see my daughter married off?
什么都行 Anything.
给 把我的婚戒也拿走吧 Here, take my wedding ring.
不 杯子已经够贵重的了 No. The glasses are plenty.
我已经在邻里街坊间吹嘘过了 I have been crowing all over the neighborhood.Bragging.
我跟朱蒂·克雷默说了 这全是你的主意 I told Judy Kramer that it was all your idea
她问我要了你的号码 and she asked for your number.
-为什么 -她女儿 - Why? - Her daughter.
脸丑个高那个 You know, the tall one with the face?
哦 可怜的孩子 Oh, yes. Poor thing.
脸长那样 To look like that and
个子还那么高 大家都能看到 be tall enough for everyone to see.
她原来在多伦多工作了几个月 Well, she was working in Toronto for a few months.
她回来之后 美极了 She just came back... gorgeous.
-什么 -惊艳极了 不知道为什么 - What? - Stunning. No idea.
问题是 她现在样子是美极了 Only now, she has an ugly girl's personality
但性格还是丑小鸭 大家都懵了 in a pretty girl's body, and everybody is confused.
-这可难办了 -就像赫蒂·拉马尔 - Well, that can be tricky. - Like Hedy Lamarr,
-但是她老是摔倒 -还没习惯穿高跟鞋吧 - but she falls a lot. - Well, she's not used to heels.
朱蒂不知道该拿她怎么办了 所以她想 Judy doesn't know what to do with her, and she thought,
你当媒人那么厉害 能帮得上忙 with your matchmaking skills, you could help.
我跟她说了 你肯定能帮忙 希拉的消息 I told her, of course you could help. Word of Shira
一下子就传遍了花园俱乐部 has swept the garden club like wildfire.
我的天啊 My goodness.
这下你有的忙了 You are going to be a busy lady.
好吧 Okay.
我见过你了 I saw you.
杯子给你了 我得走了 You have the glasses. I have to go.
-芋头泥[夏威夷菜]是什么 -我不知道 - What's poi? - I don't know.
我会搞清楚的 你真是个天才 I'll figure it out. You're a genius.
谢谢你的杯子 Thank you for the glasses.
我终于有可能当外婆了 I may actually have a grandchild.
世界上所有杯子加起来都比不上这个 That's worth more than all the glasses in the world.
你真的不要戒指吗 You sure you don't want the ring?
-真不要 -好吧 - I'm sure. - Okay.
再见 罗斯 See you later, Rose.
再见 See you later.
托马斯医生请到重症室 Dr. Thomas to Intensive Care.
早啊 唐娜 我知道我迟到了 Morning, Donna. I know I'm behind,
但我有一个很好的解释 哦 天啊 but there's a very good explana... Oh, boy.
罗斯 你又来了 又是一个大惊喜 Rose. Again. What a nice surprise. Again.
本杰明 我给你介绍个对象 Benjamin, have I got a girl for you.
-什么 -朱蒂·克雷默的女儿 - A... - Judy Kramer's daughter.
-朱蒂什么 -朱蒂·克雷默 - Judy who? - Judy Kramer.
-你母亲也认识她 -哦 好的 - Your mother knows her. - Oh, good.
不管怎样 她的女儿 跟你一样聪明 Anyhow.Her daughter, very bright, like you;
也跟你一样高 very tall, like you.
她过去样子惨不忍睹 She used to look terrible,
但是现在漂亮极了 but now she's beautiful,
虽然有点笨 但是我觉得你们很适合 though still very clumsy, which I think will work nicely
因为她有点怪 你懂吗 怪 because it's a little weird. Get it? Weird?
罗斯 你这么想着我 真贴心 Rose, it is very sweet of you to think about this,
但真的 我自己挺 but really, I'm doing just...
天涯何处无芳草 Miriam doesn't have to be the last girl for you.
我牵对线一次 还能再牵对一次 I was right once. I can be right again.
罗斯 我发誓 我真的很好 Rose, I promise you, I'm fine.
你不可能永远这么俊 You know, you won't be this handsome forever.
我阁楼上有张画像能证明我俊过 Well,I have a painting in my attic that would prove otherwise.
哎哟 多聪明 朱迪的女儿也很聪明 See? Clever. Judy's daughter's clever, too.
我知道我不会错的 I know I'm right about this.
罗斯 我必须要回去 看病人去 Rose, I really have to get back to... bleeding people.
哦 好吧 不用现在就决定 但 Oh, okay. We don't have to decide this right now, but...
不好意思 Excuse me.
给你地址 你准备好了来找我 Here. You'll know where to find me when you're ready.
别让幸福等太久 Don't wait too long to be happy.
出租车 Taxi!
混球 Hey, asshole.
抱歉 这位先生 Excuse me, sir.
是你朝我扔番茄了吗 Did you throw a tomato at me?
如果是你 我想应该是意外 If you did, I assume it was an accident,
而且我愿意接受你的道歉 and I'm willing to accept an apology.
我 道歉 I... apologize.
-罗斯 -我的妈 亚伯 - Rose. - Oh, my! Abe.
魂都被你吓没了 You scared the living daylights out of me.
怎么回事 What on earth?
发生什么事了 What happened to you?
最美好的事情 The most wonderful thing.
美好 你鼻子在流血 Wonderful? Your nose is bleeding.
一个男的朝我扔了番茄 A man threw a tomato at me.
-他什么 -三个番茄 - He what? - Three tomatoes, actually.
他朝我扔了三个番茄 近距离攻击 He threw three tomatoes at me point blank.
-亚伯 -我给了他道歉的机会 - Abe... - I gave him a chance to apologize.
-他拒绝 所以我推了他 -你什么 - He didn't take it, so I pushed him. - You what?
我把我的两只手放在他胸前 推了他 I physically put my two hands on his chest and pushed him.
然后 他也推了我 所以我又推回去 And then, he pushed me back, so I pushed him back.
然后他又推了我 不知不觉 And then he pushed me back, and before I knew it,
我俩打起来了 就是这么回事 we were fighting! Well, sort of.
场面更像是自由搏击 而不是互相殴打 It was more of a freeform grapple than actual fisticuffs,
但是我们像斯文人一样扭打在一起 摔在大街上 but we scuffled like dandies, and fell in the street.
差点被一个垃圾车撞到 We almost got hit by a garbage truck,
不过那个车开得很慢 but it was going very slowly,
所以我们成功滚到马路边上 so we managed to roll out of the way.
亚伯 这太糟糕了 Abe, this is terrible.
你被一个陌生人攻击了 You were assaulted by a stranger.
不 罗斯 不是陌生人 No, Rose, not a stranger.
是大卫·梅里克 David Merrick.
大卫·梅里克 David Merrick?
那是谁 流氓吗 Who is that, a gangster?
差不多吧 他是百老汇制片人 Kind of. He's a Broadway producer.
而且 罗斯 他读了 And, Rose... he read it.
大卫·梅里克读了我的作品 他鄙视我的作品 David Merrick read my piece, and he despised it.
他的助理也一样 His assistants, too.
他们俩把我推来推去 They pushed me around a little, as well.
他们讨厌我 They hate me.
他们绝对讨厌我 They all absolutely hate me.
好吧 好极了 Well, terrific.
你还不明白吗 Don't you understand?
我的作品 他们拿到了 My piece... it got to them.
我的文字刺激了剧场里的人 My words incited theater people,
那些坐着赚钱的人 people who make a living sitting down.
我的作品把他们刺激得站起来了 It incited them to get up
还实施了一系列的暴力行为 and commit an act of physical violence!
亚伯 我相信那个番茄一定是个半生不熟的 Abe, I think this must have been a very underripe tomato,
而且打到你头上了 and it hit you in the head.
你很可能脑震荡了 You are possibly concussed.
不 罗斯 那个番茄已经熟透了 特别美的番茄 No. Rose, it was a perfectly ripe, beautiful tomato.
原本能做一顿特别好的沙拉 It would have made a wonderful salad.
但是反而砸在了我身上 And instead, it was meant for me.
我们去看看医生吧 Can I please take you to the doctor?
莫伊舍错了 Moishe was wrong.
他的父亲应该经营山羊饲养场 His father should have opened that goat farm.
还有文字 And the written word...
文字即将要改变世界了 It's going to change the world.
要开始了 罗斯 Here we go, Rosie.
莫伊舍 买头羊 Moishe! Buy a goat!
这世界要变了 The world is changing!
别进来 Don't come in here!
-我没穿裤子 -该死的裤子 - I'm not wearing pants. - Pants be damned.
这种感觉很好 是不是 Well, this is lovely, isn't it?
完美的天气 就像电影里一样 Perfect weather, like out of a movie.
那在这个电影里 And in this movie,
这个朝气蓬勃的黑发女 what does the spunky brunette want to talk
想金发美女说什么 to the little blonde dish about?
你什么意思 What do you mean?
黑发女只是想和这位美女共度美好时光 而且 The brunette just wanted to spend time with the dish, and...
-阿奇想回家 -我就知道 - Archie wants to come home. - Oh, I knew it.
伊莫金 他快不行了 饶了他吧 Imogene, he's dying. Give him a break.
我跟他刚交往那会儿 You know, when we first started dating,
阿奇可以在我房子外面一坐几个小时 Archie would sit outside my house for hours.
警察从来没抓过他 因为 他是阿奇 The police never arrested him because, you know, he's Archie.
他看起来就像个唱诗班的 他以前就是 He looks like a choirboy. He was a choirboy.
顺便提一句 他唱男中音挺好听 He's got a lovely baritone, by the way.
但是他们会赶他走 But they would shoo him off.
不过第二天 他还会回到老地方 And the next day, he'd be right back there,
坐在我卧室旁边的树上 sitting in the tree next to my bedroom window.
真浪漫 还有一点点可怕 Romantic. With just a hint of creepy.
我还以为他会永远在我的树上 I thought he'd be in my tree forever.
他会的 He will be.
伊莫金 你真觉得阿奇会 Imogene, really, do you honestly think that Archie would...
每晚在外面 鬼知道 他和谁 干啥 Stay out every night doing God knows what with God knows who?
和乔尔一起刷壁 磨地板 He was painting walls and sanding floorboards with Joel.
现在他们都这么叫了吗 Oh, is that what they're calling it these days?
-伊莫金 -粉刷墙壁 - Imogene... - Painting walls.
-说真的 -打磨地板 - Seriously... - Sanding floorboards.
-好吧 -他没有帮乔尔装修俱乐部 - Okay. - He wasn't fixing up Joel's club.
他一直都在想象没有家会怎样 He was imagining what it would be like to not have a family,
没有三个孩子 没娶我的话 生活是什么样的 to not have three children, to not be married to me.
这才是他每天干的 和乔尔一起 That's what he was doing every night, with Joel.
好吧 可能偶尔是的 但伊莫金 他很痛苦 Okay, maybe for a moment, but, Imogene, he is miserable.
他现在只想回家 He wants nothing more than to come home.
我要不是真心地相信他 I would not be standing here saying this
不会站在这和你说这些 if I did not believe it with my whole heart.
-真的吗 -是的 - Really? - Yes.
你 一个曾被丈夫抛弃的女人 You, who had her husband walk out on her,
一个生活曾在眼前崩塌的女人 who saw her whole life blow up in her face,
你真的相信如果我让他回来 you honestly believe that if I let him come back,
一切都会好起来 而且你经历的那些事儿 all will be well, and nothing like what happened
都不会发生在我身上吗 to you will ever happen to me?
是的 伊莫金 我确实相信 Yes, Imogene, I absolutely do.
好吧 Okay.
《Feeling Good》——Nina Simone
*海里的鱼* *Fish in the sea*
*你知道我的感受* *You know how I feel*
*自由奔流的河* *River running free*
*你知道我的感受* *You know how I feel*
*树上盛开的花* *Blossom on the tree*
*你知道我的感受* *You know how I feel*
*新的黎明来了* *It's a new dawn*
*新的一天开始* *It's a new day*
*这是崭新的生活* *It's a new life*
*向我开启* *For me*
凯瑟琳·吉布斯文秘行政培训学校
*我内心悠然* *And I'm feeling good...*
我的名字是伊莫金·克利里 My name is Imogene Cleary.
我们还没开门 We're not open yet.
嗨 Hi.
你好 Hello.
-这地方不错 -谢谢 - Nice club. - Thanks.
闻起来还没有人在这撒过尿 Doesn't smell like anyone's pissed in it yet.
-有人尿过了 -好吧 - Oh, they have. - Okay.
我能进来吗 Can I come in?
有重要的事 It's important.
好吧 当然 进来吧 Okay. Sure, come on in.
你还好吗 你的眼睛 You okay? Your eyes are...
没事 我对鸟过敏了 Oh, yeah. I have, uh, bird allergies.
能来杯酒吗 Could I maybe have a drink?
好的 啤酒要吗 Okay. You want a beer?
啤酒 可以 Beer. Sure.
事实上 能来点更烈的吗 Actually, could I have something stronger?
谢了 Thanks.
还能再要一杯吗 Could I have another one?
给你开个账单吗 You want to start a tab?
你已经引起我的注意了 So, you got my attention.
好 好吧 Yeah. Okay.
我知道我们俩还不算朋友 So, I know you are not a friend.
也不怎么熟 We barely know each other.
我们也就说过 三次话 一次是好好讲的 We've talked what, three times ever? Once civil.
好吧 一次都没有 但是 Okay, never civil, but...
我想让你帮我个忙 I need you to do something for me.
我需要你帮我管米奇的钱 I need you to take care of Midge's money.
我想让你去领支票 把钱存进银行 I need you to get the checks, put them in a bank.
记好帐 Keep track of what's there,
她欠了多少钱 她花了多少钱 what she's owed, what she spends.
-你在说什么 -我可以规划她的事业 - What are you talking about? - I can steer her career.
这我搞得定 I've got that down,
而且我能把她捧成大明星 and I am gonna make her a very big star.
但她的钱 But the money...
需要你来保护她的钱 I need you to protect it from now on.
-为什么 -防着我 - From what? - From me.
-苏西 -我以后一收到支票就会直接寄给你 - Susie... - I will send the checks to you directly as soon as I get 'em.
-苏西 -可能我应该让夏伊的人直接把支票给你 - Susie... - Maybe I should just have Shy's people get it to you directly.
去掉中间人 也就是我 Cut out the middleman... me.
把我去掉 对 可能这样最好 Cut out me. Yeah, that's probably the best idea.
-苏西 -我会把她目前赚到的钱都转给你 - Susie... - I'll transfer all the money that she's made so far.
每一分 我只是需要点时间把钱 Every penny. I just need a little time to get it all...
凑齐 但是我会给你的 organized, but I will get it to you,
之后 每周一次 我会把支票寄给你 and then, once a week, I will send you a check.
或者他们寄给你 Or they will send you a check.
-一周一次 有人会寄支票给你 -等下 - Once a week, someone will send you a check. - Hold on.
那么 谢谢你请我喝酒 So... thanks for the drinks.
-我们以后再聊吧 -苏西 站住 - We'll talk more later. - Susie, stop.
你不能就这样把事情交给我 You can't just come in here like that.
为什么 为什么是我 I mean, why? Why me?
有很多的业务经理和会计 There's business managers and accountants
还有很多专业人士可以做这份工作 and a lot of other people who are trained to do this.
天呐 夏伊肯定也有自己的团队 I mean, hell, Shy must have a team of people
-你可以让他们 -因为你爱她 - you could ask to... - 'Cause you love her!
你会一直爱着她 You'll always be in love with her.
你不会让她出事 永远不会 You won't let anything bad happen to her, ever.
必须要你来做 It has to be you.
让我跟她说 好吗 Just let me tell her, okay?
-什么 说我会永远爱她 -不是 钱的事 - What, that I'll love her forever? - No, about the money.
你爱她 她知道 谁都知道 She knows the other shit. Everybody does.
这些话我只说一遍 所以记好了 谢谢 I'm only gonna say this once, so pay attention... thank you.
第一眼见米琪·麦瑟尔 The first moment I saw Midge Maisel,
我就想"好性感的鸡尾酒服务员" I thought, "That is one red-hot cocktail waitress."
法国餐厅级别的鸡尾酒服务员 French-restaurant-level cocktail waitress.
当我发现她是个喜剧演员 When I found out she was a comic,
我震惊的 一根羽毛都能把我打晕 you could have knocked me over with a feather.
我更想用球棍打晕你 I would've preferred a mallet.
现在 她在和夏伊·鲍德温一起巡演 Yeah, and now she's scored a tour with Shy Baldwin.
一刀插在我心上 Knife in my heart right here.
但我还是觉得她能胜任火辣的鸡尾酒服务员 While I still think she'd make a red-hot cocktail waitress...
那我肯定会喝得不省人事 I'd definitely exceed my two-drink minimum.
她现在可是公认讨人爱 She has since proven a good sport,
强劲的竞争对手 a tough competitor,
还是酒吧里的香饽饽 the best-smelling person in a club.
倒不是说那有多难 Not that that's hard.
说真的 发自内心 I can honestly say, from the bottom of my heart,
有你的 麦瑟尔夫人 fuck you, Mrs. Maisel.
有你的 Oh. Fuck you...
真有你的 麦瑟尔夫人 Fuck you, Mrs. Maisel.
谢谢 我在极力忍住泪水 Thank you. I'm trying not to cry.
赶紧让他们看看你的本事 Go out there and show 'em how it's done.
因为 要是你失败了 Because, if you fail,
可没人会让你忘记 no one will ever let you forget.
嗯 我不是开玩笑 Yeah, that wasn't a joke.
接下来会听起来非常老套 但管你妈的 Well, it's gonna sound like a cliche, but what the hell.
-你胆子肥啊 -本杰明 - How dare you. - Benjamin.
嗯呢 猜对了 Yes. Good guess.
你 你怎么在这 Wha... What are you doing here?
餐厅名为"舞台"
找你这个喜剧演员不就得来"舞台"嘛 When you want to find a penguin, you head to the North Pole.
你要坐在一堆马屁精中间 You want to do this sitting here surrounded by your flunkies
好像你是这些可怜人的狗仔 还是 like you're the poor man's Rat Pack, or...?
什么 我 不是 What? I... No.
不是 我 No. I...
没看出来我要出去吗 You don't see I have to move?
-你要 -要我站起来吗 -我可没挡住她 - Are you gonna? - Should I get up, or...? - I'm not blocking her.
好了 There she goes.
行吧 Okay.
对不起 Sorry.
你还好吗 Hi. How are you?
-有意思 -不 我是说 - That's funny. - No, I mean...
就别寒暄了 Don't worry about the small talk.
就聊一会儿 This won't take long.
-不是寒暄 -我放手放太快 对吧 - It wasn't small. - I let you off easy, didn't I?
-我 -你给我写封"亲爱的约翰" - I... - You sent me a "Dear John" Letter...
还有错字 顺便说一句 Unproofed, by the way...
我没追着你 And I didn't chase you down,
我没打你电话 我没出现在你门前 I didn't call you, I didn't show up at your door
要你给我解释 对吧 demanding an explanation, did I?
-没 -那就对了 没有 - No. - That's right, no.
我让你那么溜了 就像 I let you slink off into the night, like a
达蒙·鲁尼恩笔下的角色 goddamn Damon Runyon character.
我想如果那是你想要的 I figure if that's the way you wanted it,
我不会求你给我个解释 I wasn't gonna beg you for an explanation,
顺便说一句 一个我完全有权要求的解释 an explanation I was absolutely entitled to, by the way.
对 你有权 我很抱歉 Yes. You were. I am so sorry.
我这手分得有自尊 又优雅 I handled the whole thing with dignity, grace.
我表现得很冷静 I handled it all very calmly.
我一直都很冷静 I handle things very calmly.
我不生气 I don't get mad.
我不能生气 I can't get mad.
当你人很高时 你不能生气 When you're really tall, you can't get mad.
你不能走来走来 双手高举 You can't pace around and wave your arms in the air and
提高嗓门 因为别人会害怕 raise your voice, because people get scared.
你看 你看啊 看 See? Look around. See?
这就是高个子生气时大家的反应 That's what people look like when you're really tall and really mad.
我就像座发怒的大厦 I look like an angry building!
所以我冷静 一直都他妈很冷静 So I stay calm... all the goddamn time.
但这次 But this time...
这次 你太过分了 This time, you have pushed me too far.
我做了什么 除了 What did I do? I mean, besides...
我是医生 米里亚姆 我做手术 I work in a hospital, Miriam. I perform surgery.
我手拿尖刀 开膛破腹 I hold really sharp tools that I cut people open with.
要是我没切对 人就会死 And if I cut them open incorrectly, they tend to die.
你还让你妈来医院 And that's where you chose to send your mother
-给我介绍对象 -什么 - to fix me up with another girl?! - What?
-你疯了吗 -本杰明 我发誓 - Are you insane? - Benjamin, I swear,
我不知道她这么做 I had no idea she was gonna do that.
狗屁 米里亚姆 你内疚 Bullshit, Miriam. You feel guilty.
所以你想让我安定下来 So, you decided to get me settled
这样你就不用内疚了 so you don't have to feel bad anymore.
去你妈逼 Well, fuck that.
你没权决定我的人生 You don't get a say in what happens to me.
觉得自己卑鄙 可惜 你给我受着 You feel like a louse? Too bad. Live with it.
本杰明 拜托 我们坐下来谈 好吗 Benjamin, please, can we just sit and talk?
拜托 Please?
谢谢 Thank you.
你不先开口吗 Oh, you're going to have to start.
好 Right.
对不起 Sorry.
本杰明 我欠你一个真心诚意的道歉 Benjamin, I owe you the biggest apology in the world.
我觉得自己真的非常不要脸 I am totally and completely ashamed of myself.
我从没觉得你怂 I never pegged you for a coward.
那封信 懦夫才写得出 That letter... That was a coward's move.
我知道 I know it was.
我不明白 I don't understand.
到底怎么了 What happened?
我信里都写了 I explained it all in the letter.
我看到那句"我不能嫁给你" I stopped reading the letter after the words
我就没往下看了 "I can't marry you."
那不是先把结局说了吗 That kind of gave the end away.
挺奇怪的 我能在台上 You know, it's funny, I... can stand onstage
说各种让人不舒服 and say all sorts of uncomfortable,
尴尬的私事 embarrassing personal things.
但一想到要站你面前 But the thought of standing in front of you,
跟你说 telling you...
我就做不到 I just... couldn't.
所以我写了信 So I wrote a letter.
像个懦夫 Like a coward.
但你必须明白 But you have to understand,
当我接受了你的求婚 when I accepted your proposal,
我受够了单口喜剧 I was fed up with stand-up.
我想着放弃 I was thinking of quitting.
我以为喜剧只是我人生一个阶段 我可以结婚 I thought maybe comedy was just a phase, and I could get married
每周去煤气灯表演个一两次 and hop down to the Gaslight once or twice a week, do a set,
就像穿漂亮鞋去保龄球俱乐部 like a bowling league with better shoes.
我以为那样就够了 I thought maybe that could be enough.
然后夏伊·鲍德温打电话来 And then Shy Baldwin called.
我就像被闪电击中一样 And a lightning bolt went through me.
我就 知道 I just... knew.
这个机会 决定我后半生 This was it for the rest of my life.
没有后悔药 No turning back.
-我知道这会是个问题 -怎么会 - And I knew that would be a problem. - How?
什么怎么会 How what?
你怎么知道这会是个问题 How did you know it was going to be a problem?
-本杰明 拜托 -拜托什么 - Oh, Benjamin, come on. - Come on, what?
我在台上吐槽自己的生活 I talk about my life onstage.
全部生活 My whole life.
我吐槽自己的爸妈孩子 I talk about my parents and my children,
我的社交 我的失败 and my relationships and my failures,
其他人的失败 and everyone else's failures,
我的腰带 性生活 and my girdle and my sex life.
-我看过你表演啊 -两次 - I have seen you onstage. - Twice.
你就看了两次 You've seen me twice.
我们结了婚就不一样了 It would be different if we were married.
我会一直表演 It would be constant.
你吃不消的 You wouldn't be able to handle it.
-是嘛 -我做单口就是乔尔和我... - Oh, really? - My stand-up was the reason that Joel and I...
-我不是乔尔 -我知道 - I am not Joel. - I know.
我比他高60公分 I got two feet on the guy alone.
-你们都是男人 -什么意思 - You are both men. - What the hell does that mean?
-高傲强壮的男人 -你问了吗 - Proud men. Strong men. - Did you ask?
你有问"本杰明 Did you ever say, "Hey, Benjamin,
如果我上台会一直说到你 会是个问题吗" if I constantly talk about you onstage, is that a problem?"
-我没问 -那就对了 - No, I didn't. - That's right.
你都没给我机会 You didn't even give me a chance.
你直接把我抛弃了 You left me out of the equation altogether.
我当时就要路演了 I would have been on the road.
我们会经常分开 We would have been separated a lot.
那我们重聚时 场面会很煽情 And the coming back together would've been sensational.
别走 Please don't go.
你伤透了我的心 米里亚姆 You broke my heart, Miriam.
别再叫你妈来了 Do not send your mother again.
你还没看过戒指呢 You never even got to see the ring.
璀璨夺目 顺便说一句 It was spectacular, by the way.
一定很璀璨 I have no doubt.
是啊 安雅 Oh, yes, Anya.
你的小女儿 莱丝莉 And your youngest girl, Leslie,
她还单身吗 is she still single?
单着啊 好 Oh, she is. Good.
有什么具体原因吗 And is there any specific reason why?
有试过齐刘海吗 Well, has she tried bangs?
遗憾 Oh. How unfortunate.
大千世界一定有个人在等着 Well, there must be some wonderful man out there
像莱丝莉这样的女子 just waiting for someone like Leslie.
什么时候三十岁 And she turns 30 when?
别 时间还早 Oh, no, there's plenty of time.
别担心 Don't you worry.
妈妈 你在哪 Mama! Where are you?
这段日子 我会好好想想的 In the meantime, I will put my thinking cap on.
挂电话 Hang up.
安雅 我先挂了 Anya, I have to go,
回头给你回电话 but I will call you soon.
巡演让你变得越来越没礼貌了 Being on the road has made you extremely rude.
不敢相信 你去找了本杰明 I cannot believe you went to Benjamin.
-米里亚姆 -去医院 他上班的地方 - Miriam... - To his work. His work.
总不能在大街上找他聊吧 Well, I wasn't gonna accost him in the street.
你去他上班的地方 给他介绍对象 And you went to his work to try and set him up with a girl.
是这样对吗 因为我真的需要清楚事情真相 Am I getting the story right? Because I really want to get the story right
然后告诉你这有多越界 before I tell you how incredibly out of line it was.
小声点 Keep your voice down.
你知道我取消婚约 Do you know how hard it must've been for him
他有多难吗 when I backed out of the wedding?
-我想应该不简单 -你还有这脸 - I'm assuming it wasn't easy. - And you had the gall,
你还那么狂妄 那么没脑子 去找他 the hubris, the insensitivity to go down there
逼他再回味一次 and drag him back into that all over again?
这不关你的事 This was none of your business.
这是本杰明和我之间的事 This was between Benjamin and me.
没人叫你来掺和 No one asked you to get in the middle.
我知道他没有 I know he didn't.
我竟然被自己女儿这样数落 I'm not gonna be talked to like this by my own daughter.
跟你说 对不起 妈 You know what, I am sorry, Mama.
对不起 让你对我的生活失望了 I'm sorry that you are so disappointed in how my life turned out.
对不起 你不明白到底发生了什么 I'm sorry that you can't understand the turn it's taken.
我试着向你解释了 I have certainly tried to explain it to you,
想你加入我 to include you in it,
但你不想懂 也不想加入 but you don't want to understand or be included.
你就想要失望 You just want to be disappointed.
真对不起 我是个喜剧演员 I'm sorry that I am a comedian
你无法看我上台表演 and that you can't watch me onstage
还以为我是妓女 and that you still think I'm a prostitute.
对不起 乔尔离开了我 生活天翻地转 I'm sorry that Joel left me and blew up my life,
但他走了 but he did.
他离开了我 He left.
他毁了我的小日子 He blew up my life.
我也不想那样 I did not want that to happen.
但事情就是这样 But it did happen,
而我必须做点什么 and I had to do something about it.
总有一天 And one of these days,
你得承认 you are gonna have to acknowledge
这就是事实 that this is the new reality.
我 此生第一次 That I am, for the first time in my life,
掌握自己的命运 taking charge of my own destiny,
就像乔尔和本杰明那样掌握自己的生活 just like Joel is in charge of his life and so is Benjamin.
或许你该有点自己的生活 Maybe you need to get a life of your own
你才会停止操控你周围人的生活 and you can stop trying to manipulate the lives of those around you.
你说得对 You're right.
我不明白你的生活 I don't understand what your life is
你为什么要做喜剧 or why you do what you do.
而且 没错 我确实认为喜剧演员和妓女没什么区别 And, yes, I do feel that comedy and prostitution are one and the same.
我不知道如何解释 我女儿把孩子们扔在家 I don't know how to explain that my daughter leaves her children
跟着戴帽子的矮个子兼职水管工东奔西走 to travel around with a tiny part-time plumber in a hat.
我不理解为什么 I don't understand why it's funny
在台上讲父母的事情就搞笑了 to talk about your parents onstage,
为什么别人因为你的错误 why it's fun to hear people laugh
或者糗事哈哈大笑就搞笑了 at their mistakes and misfortune.
但是有一点我们俩意见完全相同 But there is one area where you and I are in perfect agreement:
那就是当一个女人全靠男人时 how precarious a woman's life is
她的人生有多么不稳定 when it's dependent on the whims of a man.
这也是我吃了苦受了罪才学会的 That is a lesson I have also learned the hard way.
你父亲也把我的生活搞得一团糟 Your father blew up my life, too.
他一眨眼的功夫就让我失去了一切 He took everything away in the blink of an eye,
现在我要把失去的找回来 and now it's up to me to get it back.
这就是我打算做的事 And that is exactly what I intend to do.
现在 Now,
如果你不介意的话 if you'll excuse me.
伯妮斯 Bernice,
我是罗斯·韦斯曼 Rose Weissman here.
这个问题有点唐突 Left field question,
你的儿子眼睛还看不见吗 is your son still clinically blind?
太棒了 Wonderful.
还剩30秒 女士们 30 seconds, ladies.
《Feeling Good》——Nina Simone
*我内心悠然* * And I'm feeling good *
阿波罗剧场
*内心悠然* * Feeling good ... *
夏伊·鲍德温 和梅布莱妈妈 海姆斯兄弟团 银铃姐妹花 麦瑟尔夫人
我迟到了吗 Am I late?
我以为我能准时到 I thought I was on time.
临出门鞋子有问题 There was a last-minute shoe issue.
不同灯光下颜色会变 The color was different in different light,
所以为了确保准备充分 so I had to make sure I was prepared.
我额外又带了一双 Brought an extra pair,
但是那双有点磨脚 走路姿势滑稽 but they hurt my feet and I walk a little funny,
这也可能会很趣 因为我是喜剧演员 对吗 which might be fun since I'm a comic, right?
卓别林就是靠这个红的 Worked for Chaplin.
我以为不会耽误这么久 But I didn't think it added that much time to...
没错 我迟到了 Yep, I'm late.
好吧 Well,
真可笑 la-di-da.
没关系 It's fine.
我很兴奋 I'm excited.
这是阿波罗剧院 对吧 The Apollo, right?
你不是看见牌子了吗 Hey, you read the sign.
听着 我 Look, I, uh,
今晚有点事情要去处理 have a thing I need to take care of tonight.
出什么事了 What's wrong?
什么事儿都没有 Nothing's wrong.
麻烦的家务事 It's a bullshit family thing,
但是我想在走之前处理好 but I want it taken care of before we go,
所以我可能要错过你的表演了 so I may have to miss your set.
是因为我穿错了鞋子 是吗 It's 'cause I wore the wrong shoes, right?
没错 Yes.
如果我没提前联系你 So if I don't talk to you before,
那我们就明晚机场见 I will meet you at the airport tomorrow night.
好的 Okay.
你的表演会很棒的 You're gonna be great.
别无选择 There is no other option.
那是当然 You bet your ass.
挺奶抬头 Tits up?
挺奶抬头 Tits up.
别他妈赶不上飞机 Don't be late for the fucking plane.
我从来不迟到 I'm never late.
好了 年轻人 All right, young man.
太好了 Good.
把这个吃了 Eat this.
-这是什么 -燕麦曲奇 - What is it? - Oatmeal cookie.
为什么你什么吃的都有 Why do you have the world's entire supply?
都是大家为夏伊做的 因为他到处说 People make this stuff for Shy because he goes around saying
这些是他最喜欢的食物 these are his favorite foods.
这些才不是他的最爱 They are not his favorite foods.
事实上 In fact,
他从来没碰过这些东西 he never even touches the damn stuff,
然后我就必须 西尔玛 and then I have to... Thelma!
亲爱的 你看起来真漂亮 Darling, you look wonderful!
帮我把这些枣糕给夏伊 You give these date bars to Shy, now.
我会的 I will.
-把这些吃了 -扔了就行了 - Eat these. - Just throw them out.
如果扔了 被人看见了 哈莱姆区要化为火海 You do that, someone sees and Harlem burns.
马拉·梅 Marla Mae!
这是我妹妹的女儿 萝娜 This is my sister's girl, Lorna.
你一定要带她见见夏伊 You make sure she meets Shy.
你知道我会的 You know I will.
-在那边等一下 亲爱的 -好的 - Just wait over there, sweetheart. - Okay.
这是开胃菜 Appetizers?
邻居们也想把女儿嫁给夏伊 The ladies in the neighborhood also want to marry Shy off.
抱歉 我现在是在寺庙吗 I'm sorry, am I in temple?
我去和夏伊打个招呼 I'm gonna say hi to Shy.
别占用他太长的时间 Do not bother him too long.
他要开嗓 He has vocalizing to do.
今晚可不能搞砸了 He cannot be rusty tonight.
这些老乡啊 Hometown crowds...
他们最爱你 They love you the most,
但是如果表现不够好 but they also give you the most shit
他们也会最难搞 when you aren't on your best game.
我知道 Oh, I know.
如果排队到我买肉了 If I step up to my butcher counter
还犹豫要四根还是六根羊排 and I haven't decided four or six lamb chops,
我会被生吞活剥 I get eviscerated.
最后怕到买了薄片牛肉回家 I wind up getting cube steak out of pure intimidation.
不是一码事 Yeah, it's nothing like that,
但是谢谢分享 but thanks for sharing.
再来块曲奇 Hey, have another cookie.
-对不起 伙计 -靠 - Sorry, pal. - Shit.
艾拉 Ella!
-这是你做的肉卷三明治吗 -是的 - Are those your meatloaf sandwiches I see there? - Yes.
原来你过去两个月都藏在这 Oh, so that's where you've been for the last two months.
快进来 Get in here,
牙尖嘴利的臭丫头 Little Miss Mouthy!
鲍德温先生 你看起来身价百万 Mr. Baldwin, you look like a million bucks.
才不是呢 我身价高多了 Oh, no, my price has gone way up.
往后站站 我看看你裙子 Back up, now. Let me see that dress.
我觉得我今天应该穿的淡雅点 I thought I'd go understated today,
我想融入大家 try to blend in.
这身吗 In that?
眼光不错 Nice try.
见到你太好了 It's so good to see you.
我也是 You, too.
自己倒香槟啊 Get yourself some champagne.
你要来点吗 You want some?
演出之前先不喝了 Not before the show.
我试着给你打了几次电话 You know, I tried to call you a few times,
但是你的管家 巴顿将军 but you got that housekeeper, General Patton.
没错 你会以为他打败希特勒拯救世界之后 Yes. You'd think after helping save the world from Hitler,
他能找到更好的临时工作 he could get a better gig.
不过我敢打赌他给你铺的床 Bet you can bounce a quarter off your bed
硬得都能把硬币弹下去 when he makes it though.
告诉我你最近忙什么呢 So, tell me what you've been up to.
做了些广播工作 Doing some radio work.
赚了点女性用品和松饼糖浆 Got paid in feminine products and pancake syrup.
我的侄子进行了割礼 My nephew had his bris.
他进行了什么 He had his what?
割礼就是切掉你的小鸡鸡 It's where they cut off your penis
然后我们一起吃熟食 and then we all eat deli.
我们是时候继续路演了 It's time for both of us to get back on the road.
谁表演得这么精彩 Someone's killing.
一定是妈妈 Must be Moms.
妈妈 Moms...
梅布莱 Mabley?
你说真的吗 Are you serious?
你去哪儿 Where you going?
梅布莱妈妈上台了 Moms Mabley's onstage.
夏伊·鲍德温还在这呢 Shy Baldwin's right here.
我们不是刚重聚吗 What happened to our reunion?
你看起来不错 感觉也不错 Well, you look good, you feel good,
还喜欢我裙子 you liked my dress.
你需要喝茶吗 You need some tea?
-我有茶 -回见 - I got some tea. - See ya.
善变的女人 You are a fickle girl.
比这难听的我都听过 I've been called so much worse.
他们还说我有偏见 They even said I was prejudiced.
我没有偏见 I'm not prejudiced.
我没有 I'm not.
但是我不喜欢老男人 But I don't like no old man.
我才不管他什么肤色的 I don't give a damn what color he is.
没错 Yeah.
老娘就喜欢嫩的 宝贝 Moms likes 'em young, baby.
有什么问题吗 What about it?
老年人什么能干啥 Can't no old man do nothing for me
就只能帮我送年轻小伙子的信 but bring me a message from a young man.
他也就能干这件事儿 That's all he can do.
指财产世袭的富二代
所有旧的老的我都不想要 除了旧富 I don't want nothing old but some old money.
我嫁给了一个老头 I married an old man
当时我还是个孩子 when I was nothing but a child.
就是个孩子而已 Nothing but a child.
15岁 15 years old.
那样是不对的 That ain't right.
那是我那个年代的诅咒 That was the curse back in my day.
你只能嫁给父母帮你挑选的人 You had to marry who your parents picked out for you.
我爸爸给我选了个老头子 My daddy picked out this old man,
老头子 old man.
我爸爸很喜欢他 My daddy liked him.
我爸爸应该嫁给他 My daddy should've married him.
他们说不能对死人评头论足 They say you shouldn't say nothing about the dead
除非是说好事 unless it's good.
他死了 He's dead.
这就是好事 That's good.
有一个周末 我跟他说 One weekend, I say to him,
我说 I say,
"我们为什么不去乡下 "Why don't we go out to the country?
你了解乡下吗" You know anything about the country?"
-他说... -"当然了 - He says... - "Sure,
"我了解乡下 "I-I know about the country.
当我还是小男孩的时候 When-when I was a young boy,
我就住在乡下" I used to live in the country."
我说 "当你还是小孩子的时候 I said, "When you was a young boy,
谁不住乡下啊" everybody lived in the country."
这一点都不吓人 That's not intimidating at all.
而且 她讲得可爱又有趣 And she's as sweet as pie, to boot.
感谢上帝 And thank you, Lord!
我今天的听众都能听懂我在说什么 I'm talking to people who know what I'm talking 'bout.
伟大的梅布莱妈妈 女士们先生们 The great Moms Mabley, ladies and gentlemen.
您说的太好了 That's the way it's done.
要是在去代顿之前你就告诉我了就好了 I wish you'd told me that before Dayton.
估计能省一大把时间 Could've saved a whole bunch of time.
-现在 请大家欢迎 -打扰一下 - And now please welcome - Excuse me.
-银铃姐妹花 -打扰一下 - the Silver Belles. - Excuse me.
去看看夏伊吃的还有没有剩下的 Go see if there's any of that Shy food left over.
我要饿死了 I'm starving.
打扰一下 妈妈 Excuse me. Moms?
我是说 妈妈夫人 I mean, Mrs.-Mrs. Moms.
妈妈女士 梅布莱妈妈 女士 Miss Moms. Moms Mabley. Ma'am.
我不知道怎么称呼您 I don't know what to call you,
但是我是你的狂热粉丝 but I am a really big fan.
一个真粉肯定知道怎么叫我 Well, a really big fan might know what to call me.
我在芝加哥见过你 I actually saw you in Chicago.
我们只在那演出一晚 We only played one night there,
而且 老实说 我应该待在剧场的 and, technically, I was supposed to be at the theater
以防夏伊突然需要我上场 in case Shy called me back up for a bit,
这种情况有时候会发生 但不经常 which he does sometimes but not a lot...
给我搬个椅子 亲爱的 Get me a chair, honey.
感觉这个故事不会短 I think this is gonna take a while.
但是我溜出去了 But I snuck out,
因为你当时在凯利先生酒吧那表演 because you were playing Mister Kelly's,
我也没去过那酒吧 and I'd also never seen Mister Kelly's.
所以 我去了 So, anyhow, I went.
你当时的表演真棒 You were great then, too.
你叫什么名字 亲爱的 What is your name, sweetheart?
米琪·麦瑟尔 Midge Maisel.
麦瑟尔夫人 事实上 Mrs. Maisel, actually.
-那是 那是我的艺名 -稍等一下 - Tha-That's my stage name. - Wait a minute,
你就是麦瑟尔夫人 you're Mrs. Maisel?
-没错 -你在逗我玩吗 - Yes. - Are you kidding me?
她就是夏伊今晚的开场嘉宾 This is the girl opening for Shy tonight.
就是她占了你的位置 She's the one that got your spot.
-真的吗 -没错 就是你 - I did? - Yes, you did.
-马库斯 -她可是梅布莱妈妈 - Marcus. - She's Moms Mabley.
你觉得你够格她给你开场吗 You really think she should be opening for you?
她不是给我开场 我给夏伊开场 She's not opening for me. I'm opening for Shy.
你的表演排位最好 秀兰·邓波儿 You got the prime spot, Shirley Temple.
你看不懂节目单吗 You can't read a program?
我不知道还有节目单 I didn't know there was a program.
我要找夏伊谈谈 I'm gonna talk to Shy.
真的要找夏伊谈谈 I'm gonna really talk to Shy.
-马库斯 别闹 -这样不行 - Oh, Marcus, hush now. - It's not right.
这个白人丫头 她谁啊她 Who the hell is this little white girl anyhow?
马库斯 你退下 Marcus, you back off now.
外面的观众 That audience out there
就够她受的了 is gonna give her a tough enough time
你别难为人家 without you in her face.
很高兴认识你 麦瑟尔夫人 It was nice meeting you, Mrs. Maisel.
欢迎来阿波罗剧场 Welcome to the Apollo.
太好了 Oh. Good.
吃 Eat this.
怎么了 What's the matter?
没事 Nothing.
你有节目单吗 Do you have a program?
-什么 -我为什么给夏伊开场 雷吉 - A what? - Why am I opening for Shy, Reggie?
因为夏伊不能给你开场 'Cause Shy ain't gonna open for you.
你觉得我会对观众的胃口吗 Do you think this is the right crowd for me?
观众就是这些观众 希望喜欢你吧 Well, it's the crowd you got, so let's hope so.
我不知道 我不知道了 I don't know. I don't know.
-米琪 -他们爱妈妈 - Midge. - They loved Moms.
我不应该排在梅布莱妈妈后面 I shouldn't be on after Moms Mabley.
大家会恨我的 They're gonna hate me for that.
你跟马库斯聊了吗 Oh. You been talking to Marcus?
他叫我白人丫头 He called me a white girl.
-犯规 -他说得对 - Wow. Low blow. - He's right.
今晚上台的都是大咖 There's royalty on this stage tonight.
我没准备好 我不够格 I'm-I'm not ready for this. I haven't earned it.
不管你够不够格 时间到 It doesn't matter if you earned it. It's here.
你就得上台 You got to do it.
我紧张 I'm nervous.
我从不紧张 I'm never nervous,
但现在 我好好好紧张 but, right now, I am really, really nervous.
苏西人呢 Where the hell is Susie?
家里有事 She had a family thing to do.
非得今晚 Tonight?
我不该上台 I shouldn't go out there.
这场表演对夏伊来说很重要 This is a very important show for Shy.
这是回归秀 It's a comeback show.
我要是搞砸了 他脸上挂不住 If I fail, it could look really bad for him.
那就别搞砸 Then don't fail.
我会搞砸的 I am gonna fail.
看着我 Now look at me.
没错 他们很难搞 Yes, that's gonna be a tough crowd.
他们要么恨你 要么爱你 They will love you or they will hate you,
他们会立马让你知道他们的态度 and they will let you know their verdict immediately.
或许犹太牛腩的梗可以少说一点 And maybe you should cut back on the Jewish brisket talk a little.
你认识夏伊 他们认识夏伊 You know Shy. They know Shy.
上台说说夏伊 Get out there and talk about Shy.
没听懂 I'm not following.
你即兴重复不错 我见过 You're great at riffing. I've seen you do it.
夏伊就像是他们的家人 Shy is like family to these people.
他们想要听夏伊的故事 They want to hear stories about him.
路演故事 深夜疯狂 Stories about the road, late-night craziness,
八卦 发脾气 他们就喜欢这些 gossip, tantrums... They love that sort of shit.
你想我说夏伊路演时发生的事 You want me to talk about Shy on the road?
对 Yep.
夏伊 Shy.
对 Yes.
在这里说 再好不过 It's not something you should do anywhere else,
美国纽约市的一个区 居民大都为黑人
在这 哈莱姆区 他老家 but here, in Harlem, his hometown,
他们吃这套 they'll eat it up.
现在冷静没 You calm now?
没 No.
好 你可以的 Good. You're gonna be fine.
谢谢 雷吉 Thank you, Reggie.
真的要谢我吗 You really want to thank me?
女士们先生们 Ladies and gentlemen,
有请第一次在阿波罗表演的 welcome to the stage, her first time at the Apollo,
麦瑟尔夫人 Mrs. Maisel.
挺奶抬头 Tits up.
不是吧 Oh, no.
你们好像看见了鬼[肤色白]一样 You all look like you've just seen a ghost.
对对 我知道 Yes. Yes, I know.
今天演完 我就去拉瓜地亚机场 After this, I'm heading to LaGuardia
帮忙着陆几架飞机 to help land some planes.
在我继续之前 Now, before we get any further,
-谁做的这个 -我做的 - who made this? - I made that!
我 看起来像是我做的 Me. It looks like mine.
太好吃了 Unbelievable.
-油炸的 -猪油 - Fried in oil? Ah. - Lard!
试过鸡油吗 You ever use schmaltz?
犹太教不吃猪肉 死后无天堂
一样会心脏病发 但死后不一样 Same heart attack, different afterlife.
那么 So...
夏伊·鲍德温 Shy Baldwin.
你们听说过啊 Oh! You've heard of him.
他挺不错 对吧 He's pretty great, huh?
知道我和他在哪认识的吗 You know where we met?
女厕所 In the ladies' room.
嗯呢 真的 No, seriously, we did.
一个慈善活动 你想象一下 At a charity event. I mean, picture it.
这个帅气 精致 优雅的男人 This pretty, dainty, elegant thing,
对着镜子精心打扮 primping in the mirror,
然后我 就站在他旁边 and there I was, right next to him.
他那颧骨 怎么跟他比嘛 How do you compete with those cheekbones?
跟艾娃·加德纳[演员]一样的颧骨 Those Ava Gardner cheekbones.
他太好看了 The man is so gorgeous
剧作家 60年时的妻子为玛丽莲·梦露
亚瑟·米勒都要围着他 that Arthur Miller's sniffing around him.
他是我认识的 He's the only person I know
唯一一个好看到可以扮演罗密欧 还有朱丽叶 gorgeous enough to play Romeo and Juliet.
我一直跟你夏伊路演 So I've been hanging out with Shy on tour,
然后我发现 and I discovered
他只要唱歌就行了 that all he has to do is sing.
他有人帮他打理其他任何事 He has a guy for everything else.
也就其他所有事吧 Well... just about everything else.
真的 他有个人帮他处理其他琐事 No, he pretty much has a guy for everything else.
巡演的时候 You see 'em on the road,
那些人 就等在夏伊的门外 his guys, falling over themselves outside his door.
"需要什么就说 夏伊" "Whatever you need, Shy."
"让我哄你睡吧 夏伊" "Let me tuck you in, Shy."
"我帮你擦擦衣领上的粉底吧 夏伊" "Let me get that makeup off your collar, Shy."
别震惊 他自己的粉底 Don't be scandalized, it's his.
我们巡演了一阵子 We were on the road a while,
回来纽约 and coming back to New York,
我半天都在坐飞机 火车 I was a half a day on a plane, a train,
公车 出租车 黄包车 a bus, a cab, a rickshaw.
夏伊到了家 Shy comes home,
他不需要坐飞机 he doesn't need a plane.
不需要坐火车 He doesn't need a train.
绿野仙踪中桃乐茜鞋跟相碰三次 说: "没有比家更好的地方了" 就回到了家
他只要穿上朱迪·加兰的鞋 He just puts on his Judy Garland shoes,
鞋跟相碰三次 说 clicks his heels together three times and says,
"没有比哈莱姆区更好的地方了*2" "There's no place like Harlem. There's no place like Harlem."
他的衣柜啊 And his closet?
大到不行 It's enormous.
都有门铃 It has a doorbell.
有次派对 我进去过一次 棒呆 I went in there once, at a party. Amazing.
丝绸啊 绸幔啊 雪纺啊 With the silks and the satins, the chiffons,
雪尼尔纱啊 不是女子组合名 the chenilles... These aren't girl groups,
是他的衣服 these are his clothes.
这是谁做的 Who made this?
我不是喜剧演员 I-I'm not actually a comedian,
我就是来蹭吃的 I just came here to eat.
夏伊还会洗埃及艳后牛奶浴 Shy takes Cleopatra milk baths!
其实 我不知道是不是真的 Actually, I have no idea if that's true,
但感觉是真的 对吧 but it feels true, right?
天 烧得比我想象的快啊 Boy, it went up a lot faster than I thought it would.
六十年的南方安逸酒 60 years of Southern Comfort in that floor
大概加大了火势 probably sped up the process.
这太美了 对不对 It's almost beautiful like this, isn't it?
不美 No.
好吧 Yeah.
所以 So...
这够你还债吗 this gonna get you out of your hole?
保险能补上 Well... the insurance will cover
我输掉的米琪的钱 Midge's portion of the money I lost.
这是重点 That's what's important.
那你呢 What about you?
我不需要很多钱 I don't need much.
苔丝 Hey, Tess...
谢谢你跟我一起放火 thanks for committing a felony with me.
谢谢你让我可以不用再睡那屋子里 Thanks for making sure I never have to sleep in that house again.
虽然我还是希望你可以 Though I still wish you would have waited
等司金特在家的时候放火 till Skint was in there to light it up.
不得不说 挺诱人的 It was tempting, I got to admit.
你可以直接离开他啊 You know, you can just leave him.
烧死他更容易 Setting him on fire would have been easier.
你得做些什么 苔丝 You got to do something, Tess.
你不该惨兮兮一辈子 You shouldn't be miserable forever.
是啊 Yeah.
好了 Well...
再见 老妈 bye, Mom.
希望你在天堂更好 Hope it's better where you are.
等一下 老妈在哪 Hey, where is she, by the way?
太平间 还是 Mortuary, or...?
靠 Shit.
忘记问了 I forgot to ask.
我明天打电话问 I'll call tomorrow.
我觉得这是她想要的 I think that's how she would have wanted it.
她走了 我们一无所知 She's gone, and we have no idea where.
等等 我嘴里塞满了 Hold on, my mouth is full.
我这话可没别的意思哈 Oh, now you're just adding your own punch lines.
这是我一生中最大的荣幸 Well, this has been the biggest honor of my life.
站在阿波罗剧院的舞台 边单口边吃 To stand here at the Apollo and eat on the same stage
而梅布莱妈妈刚刚还在这妙语连珠 that Moms Mabley killed on just moments ago.
谢谢 夏伊·鲍德温 Thank you, Shy Baldwin.
说到夏伊·鲍德温 And speaking of Shy Baldwin...
当然不用我介绍 He clearly doesn't need an introduction,
但不管怎么样 but here it is anyhow.
女士们先生们 独一 无二 Ladies and gentlemen, the one, the only,
无与伦比的夏伊·鲍德温 the fabulous Shy Baldwin!
《A Woman, A Lover, A Friend》
*我想寻一个她* *I want somebody*
*抓紧我的双手* *To hold my hand*
*一个爱我的人* *Somebody to love me*
*也懂我的人* *And understand*
*我想寻一个她* *I want a woman*
*做亲密爱人* *I want a lover*
*当红颜知已* *I want a friend*
*我* *I...*
*我想寻一个她* *I want somebody*
*把她深深宠爱* *To share my love*
-*爱这个东西啊* -*快抱紧我* - *'Cause loving is something* - *Come on and hold me tight*
*我多的是* *I got plenty of*
*今晚把爱带上* *Bring me your love tonight*
*我想寻一个她* *I want a woman*
*做亲密爱人* *I want a lover*
*他想寻一个爱人* *He wants a lover*
*当寻红颜知已* *I want a friend*
*我不想要那种* *I don't want a fancy gal*
*搽脂抹粉的大小姐* *With powder and paint*
*也不想要那种* *I don't want a woman*
*自以为圣人的女人* *Who thinks she's a saint*
*我想寻的女人* *I'm looking for someone*
*要真挚善良* *Who's not make-believe*
*不介意付出* *And doesn't mind giving*
*她所得到的* *That she may receive*
*她肯定存在* *There must be somebody*
*于某一处* *Somewhere around...*
不得不说 麦瑟尔夫人 I have to tell you, Mrs. Maisel,
大家伙都很高兴你搬回来 the staff is really excited about your moving back in.
我们都想你了 We've missed you.
我也想大家了 安东尼奥 I've missed you, too, Antonio.
严格来说 我不应该让你进来 Now, technically, I'm not supposed to let you in
得等到月初 但是是你嘛 until the first of the month, but it's you, so...
我们的小秘密 保证不说 It's our secret. I promise.
好的 那你看房子吧 Okay. Well, I'll leave you to it.
不着急 Uh, take your time.
等你看完我再回来锁门 I'll come back and lock up when you're done.
拜 安东尼奥 Bye, Antonio.
《Our Love Is Here to Stay》——Blossom Dearie
*显而易见* *It's very clear*
*我们的爱永驻* *Our love is here to stay*
*不是一两年* *Not for a year*
*而是永永远远* *But ever and a day*
*那广播* *The radio*
*那电话* *And the telephone*
*那电影* *And the movies*
*我们熟悉的一切* *That we know*
*都恍如隔世* *May just be passing fancies*
*随着时间而去* *And in time may go*
欢迎回家 Welcome home.
*但 亲爱的啊* *But oh, my dear*
*我们的爱永驻* *Love is here to stay*
*我们一起* *Together we're...*
先拿大箱子 Take the big trunks first!
那些放下面 Those go on the bottom!
我的帽盒在楼下吗 Is my hatbox down there?
哪个帽盒 Which hatbox?
黄帽子的那个 The hatbox with the yellow hat.
哪个黄帽子 Which yellow hat?
别踩草坪 Off the lawn!
别走草坪过 草坪新的 Do not walk on the lawn! That's new lawn!
米里亚姆 两部出租车在计费 Miriam! You have two meters running.
两部诶 Two meters!
别踩到花草 Do not walk on the plants!
出什么事都不准碰那树 Do not under any circumstances touch that tree.
我已经搬这些箱子搬一小时了 I've been putting boxes in the car for an hour,
怎么都没变小啊 and it's not getting any smaller.
有人配乐真好啊 It's nice to have a soundtrack.
我找不到黄帽子 I can't find the yellow hat!
亚伯 接电话 Abe, answer the phone.
搭个手 Kid, give a hand.
怎么老叫我接电话啊 Why am I always answering the phone in this house?
又不是我家 It's not my house.
找到黄帽子了 I found the yellow hat,
这些拿去 Take these.
但我还需要个帽盒 but I need another hatbox.
我有权说 I can say with certain authority
你不需要帽盒 you do not need another hatbox.
用我的帽盒 Take my hatbox!
妈妈 可以用你的吗 Mama, can I take your hatbox?
还要我接电话吗 Am I still answering the phone?
接 Yes.
好 Yes!
两部出租车 两个计程器 Two cabs, two meters.
喂 Hello?
你谁 什么村 You're from where? The Village what?
两个车喇叭在叫 Two horns honking.
我去叫他们别按 I'll take care of the honking.
听不到 I can't hear you.
我住疯人院 I live in a lunatic asylum.
我去厨房接 I'll take this in the kitchen.
我去厨房接 I'll take it in the kitchen!
我好了 Okay, I'm ready.
她来了 She's coming!
我想跟孩子告别 I want to say goodbye to the kids.
你已经道别过了 You already said goodbye to the kids.
那是第一次告别 That was just the first goodbye.
伊森去找对街的孩子玩了 Ethan went to play with the little boy across the street.
怎么让他去玩了 我还想道别呢 Why'd you let him do that? I wanted to say goodbye.
你已经道别过了 You already said goodbye.
妈妈 Mama.
所有箱子都搬上车了 有一个装不下 We put all the trunks in the car except one.
那个标着"蝴蝶结"的有多重要 How important is the one labeled "Bows"?
从头再来 查理 Back to square one, Charlie!
你去哪了 Where the hell are you?!
他们都要重新开始计费了 They're gonna turn the meters back on.
我想和孩子们告别 I want to say goodbye to the kids.
不 不会的 No, they're not.
伊森 妈妈要走啦 Ethan, Mommy's leaving!
这样怎么找得到伊森 Well, you'll never get him that way.
伊森 快给我死回家 Ethan! Get your butt back here now!
妈妈要走了 Shut up!
闭嘴[邻居] Shut up!
我会想你说的新词的 I miss all the new words.
给妈妈说个新词 说"猫猫" Say a new word for Mommy. Say "Kitty."
她不会说 She can't say kitty.
说"狗狗" Say "Doggy."
她不会说 She can't say doggy.
说句话 孩子 Say something, kid.
别给她压力 You'll give her a complex.
我 你还让她做抬腿运动呢 Me? You're the one who has her doing leg lifts.
是《乡村之声》的人打来的 That was someone from The Village Voice.
什么 What?
一个报纸 It's a newspaper.
我们不需要订报纸 We don't need a subscription.
不是推销来的 They were not selling subscriptions.
来 艾丝特 说个新词 Come on, Esther, one new word.
他想我去写剧评 He wants me to be their theater critic.
给妈妈说个新词 One new word for Mommy.
你不能这样要她张口说 没用的 You can't demand a word. It doesn't work like that.
"球球" "Ball."
你刚刚说什么 Wh-What did you say?
"门门" "Door."
他们要我写剧评 They want me to be their theater critic.
"帽帽" "Hat."
我现在就去找他们聊聊 I have to go talk to them right now.
"铃铛" "Bell."
我找到伊森了 I found Ethan!
"马提尼 特干的" "Martini, extra dry."
出来道别 Get out here, say goodbye,
上车 and get in the cab.
我放弃 拜拜 宝贝 I give up. Bye-bye, sweetheart.
到了给你打电话 I'll call you when I get there.
我到了给你打电话 I'll call when I get there.
他们要你干嘛 They want you to do what?
米里亚姆 到了给我打电话 Miriam! Call when you get there.
亚伯 你刚刚说剧评吗 Abe, did you say theater critic?
你逗我呢 两部出租车 You're kidding. Two cabs?
只是看起来多 Seems like more than it is.
怎么会 第三部隐形的吗 How? Is the third cab invisible?
我好激动 I'm so excited.
为什么你帽子闻起来像烤肉 Why does your hat smell like a barbecue?
这都是你的行李吗 Is this all your luggage?
嗯 我们可能需要再来架飞机 Yeah. We may need a second plane.
-等等 -雷吉 - Hold on a second. - Hey, Reggie.
-第二部出租是开玩笑的 -不是开玩笑 - So the second cab's a joke. - It's not a joke.
就是个笑话 It's a hilarious fuckin' joke.
计划有变 There's been a change of plans.
你们不能上飞机了 You two are not getting on the plane.
真的吗 她可以不带行李 Seriously, she can leave half the shit here.
我不能不带 I cannot leave it here.
跟行李无关 It has nothing to do with the luggage.
你用去路演了 You're not going on tour.
什么 为什么 What? Why not?
-夏伊改变主意了 -什么意思 - Shy changed his mind. - What do you mean?
他不想要你开场了 He doesn't want you to open for him anymore.
但 我不懂 But... I-I don't understand.
-我们不是刚刚签的合同 -合同无效 - We just got a new contract. - Contract is void.
-什么意思 -你没签 无效 - What does that mean? - You didn't sign it. It's void.
夏伊不要我了 因为我没签合同吗 Shy dropped me because I didn't sign the contract?
我要签合同的啊 I was gonna sign the contract.
跟合同无关 It has nothing to do with the contract.
那是为什么 Then why?
你昨晚的表演 Your act last night.
我的表演很好啊 My act last night went great.
是你说的内容 It's what you said in your act.
你说了什么 What did you say in your act?
我说了说夏伊 I talked about Shy.
你说好多夏伊的事 You said a lot about Shy.
-你叫我说的啊 -隐私 - You told me to do that. - Personal shit.
哪种隐私 What kind of personal shit?
雷吉 你叫我去说夏伊的事 Reggie, you said go out there and talk about Shy.
-我知道 -你说他是他们的家人 - I know. - You said he was their family,
-大家都了解他 -我知道 - that they knew all about him. - I know.
但我不知道你那么了解他 But I didn't know that you knew all about him.
了解他什么 Knew what about him?
大家为什么都用暗号说话 Why's everyone talking in code?
我是开玩笑 I made some jokes.
有些玩笑戳到他痛处了 Some jokes that hit too close to home.
但我没击中要害 But I-I didn't hit home.
我至少隔了两幢房子 I was at least two houses down.
夏伊知道你在说什么 Shy knew what you were saying.
这是重点 That's all that mattered.
-你说了夏伊什么 -雷吉 - What did you say about Shy? - Reggie,
我以为我只是按照你的意思来的 I thought I was doing what you told me to do.
-让我和夏伊聊聊 -不 - Please, just let me talk to Shy. - No.
我必须让他知道这是天大的误会 I have to tell him this was a big misunderstanding.
-他不想跟你说 -那你跟他说 - He doesn't want to talk to you. - Then you tell him.
告诉他是你叫我干的 Tell him you told me to go out there and do that.
我不会那么做的 I am not gonna do that.
-为什么 -米琪 夏伊是我的人 - Why not? - Midge, Shy is my boy.
我要保护他 I'm supposed to protect him.
我不会告诉他 是我叫你上台 I'm not gonna tell him I sent some girl up there
告诉大家他是 那什么 to tell the world that he's... what he is.
-什么啊 -拜托 那是玩笑 - What is he?! - Please, they were jokes.
"朱迪·加兰的鞋" "Judy Garland shoes"?
操 Oh... shit!
雷吉 不能这样 Reggie, this can't happen.
我和夏伊 我们是朋友 I mean, me and Shy, we're friends.
你们不是朋友 You are not friends.
你们只是一起路演 现在不一起了 You were on tour together, and now you're not.
-苏西 -雷吉 拜托 - Susie. - Hey, Reggie, please.
这明显是有误会 This was obviously a big-ass breach here,
肯定可以挽回的 but there's gotta be something we can do.
任何事 我都愿意 Anything. I don't care what it is.
我们可以少拿点钱 I mean, we'll cut our rate.
圣诞节免费给你们开场 We'll do the Christmas show for nothing.
我给你熨内裤 I will iron your fuckin' jockey shorts.
-求你 求你别这样 -对不起 - Just please, please don't do this. - I'm sorry.
别他妈道歉啊 拜托 Fuck sorry. Come on!
苏西 Susie,
有一天你也会跟我今天一样的立场 you're gonna be right where I am someday.
你会懂的 You'll see.
苏西 Susie?
没事的 It's okay.
我们没事的 We're gonna be okay.
《(What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love and Understanding》 ——Elvis Costello & The Attractions
*当我走过* *As I walk through*
妈的 终于搞完了 感谢观看与喜爱 我们下一季再贱！TITS UP!
*这个奇怪的世界* *This wicked world*
顺便网易云@NEW字幕组 搞了个本季歌单 来啊 姐妹们
*于疯狂黑夜* *Searchin' for light*
*寻找光明* *In the darkness of insanity*
*我问自己* *I ask myself*
*没有希望了吗* *Is all hope lost?*
*只剩痛与恨* *Is there only pain and hatred*
*还有悲惨吗* *And misery?*
*每当内心苦闷* *And each time I feel like this inside*
*我只想知道* *There's one thing I wanna know*
*和平 爱与理解* *What's so funny 'bout peace, love*
*有什么好笑的* *And understanding?*
*和平 爱与理解* *What's so funny 'bout peace, love*
*有什么好笑的* *And understanding?*
NEW字幕组 招募翻译 压制 时间轴和特效 期待你的加入 请扫旁边二维码 直接加群报名吼
*当我走在* *And as I walked on*
*艰难道路上* *Through troubled times*
*我垂头丧气* *My spirit gets so downhearted*
*有时候* *Sometimes*
*坚强去哪了* *So where are the strong?*
*又该信任谁* *And who are the trusted?*
*和睦又在哪* *And where is the harmony?*
*和睦啊和睦* *Sweet harmony*
*每次觉得没有了和睦* *'Cause each time I feel it slippin' away*
*我都想要哭* *Just makes me wanna cry*
*和平 爱与理解* *What's so funny 'bout peace, love*
*有什么好笑的* *And understanding?*
*和平 爱与理解* *What's so funny 'bout peace, love*
*有什么好笑的* *And understanding?*